(1939-01-04) What Lies In My Eyes?
Details for What Lies In My Eyes?
Summary: Sitting in the common room with Gresham, Esther is writing her Journal.
Date: 1939-01-04
Related: What Lies In Her Eyes?

Hello again, old friend. I've never written in you while someone watches me. And every now and then he looks up, and I look back at him, shyly, then avert my eyes back to my writing. He doesn't ask to see, doesn't say anything. Not after what we said. I /hurt/ him, pretty badly tonight, and I didn't even attempt to. He looks like I'd just stomped on his feeling.

I can't say it out loud. But Gresham; that was the single most romantic thing I've /ever/ heard. My heart melted, my legs felt weak, and I wanted more than anything to wrap you in my arms and tell you that I loved you. But… I don't. Myrus holds my heart, truly.

It's not your fault. If anything, it's mine. I don't know if I'm in denial or what - I'm thin, barely have any curves, have the weirdest hair and… Well, a birdish look to me. Right? I'm not pretty, not attractive. I've never thought about what I wear, never bothered with make-up or beauty products. I've got a nice mouth, I guess. And I've filled out some, which makes me a little less… Skeletal. But I'm nothing, not compared to Jenny, Medusa, Peyton, hell any of the other snakes.

But I've been getting compliments. Not all the nicest… And sometimes even stares. Maybe… No, it's not possible. Surely… Did the ugly duckling become a swan?

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