(1938-11-28) Worth Every Wince (Esther)

Details for Worth Every Wince

Summary: Writing with an injured wrist, Esther reflects on manipulating Alphard and Gresham, and her attempts to get into the Magijugend. Myrus is mentioned specifically, after a moment in the dungeons. Date: 1938-11-28 Related: Not Your Victim Anymore Dark Wizards Don't Duel Magijugend Interview - Esther

Fuck. You. Alphard.

My wrist aches. I didn't let him know when it happened - I couldn't show weakness. But I've found how to prick his pride into a reaction - The tail of the Mad Dog and just how to pull it. He's agreed to leave Myrus alone, at least for any of my sins. Bastard tried to trade in on it, claimed that Gage didn't count because I revealed his name. Another attack was inevitable, I negotiated for it on my terms and ensured Myrus' safety. Better than me? You egotistical prick. I cannot wait to destroy you.

I'm glad that I've made further acquaintance with Gresham. He's a decent enough Wizard, and he's agreed to the idea of 'fighting' me. Magically, of course. Lord knows I couldn't handle myself in a real fight. I can see my hip bones, when I care to… I'm forgetting to eat too often, again. Mother would be proud. He already came in use though.

I also had my Magijugend interview. Against my best judgement, I was wholly honest with Ria, about almost every point. We'll see what that does to me.

… I hesitate to write this. Myrus; dear, sweet, lovable Myrus… He walked me back to the Dungeon, and kissed me. It was a moment in time - And it lives in my mind still. This can't happen again. I won't let it. He has Elizabeth. He has a chance at happiness. He deserves it. And I will do everything I can to ensure he gets it.

The shadows are outside the dorm again. They daren't come inside while the other girls are here, even asleep, and they daren't approach the fire in the commons. The no-mans land inbetween, I won't brave alone. A shame.

I need ice.