(1938-12-01) My Knight Falls (Esther)
Details for My Knight Falls (Esther)
Summary: One of Esther's favourite pieces has fallen. Reflections; Elizabeth's Apology, Meeting Frid, and overseducing Myrus.
Date: 1938-12-01
Related: Best Laid Plans, Never Say "Sorry Loweborn?

The entry shows burning around the edges, as if someone had begun to feed it to the fire, and then changed their mind.

This afternoon, my knight fell. I found about the duel too late to step in, and once again, the mad dog had his way with something I love… And my poor, poor knight is broken. I wonder if he'll be of any use again - I wish to go see him, but eyes are watchful and I have no possible excuse to make contact. I'm unsure if anything could recover my plans if I found were found in his company at this point. I have learned more about my quarry from this encounter though - I hadn't expected the mad dog to be seen to run from a fight, even if he did so only to provoke a more cruel response.
I will do what I can to save him. But I think nothing can be done.

I went to apologise for my treatment of Gage to Elizabeth directly today. I gave her my wand, I opened up my soul to the bitch, and she threw it in my face. She called me a Monster. I was humiliated. I've never felt like a smaller, more insiginifant, pathetic excuse for a person. It was not accepted.

My Love, on the other hand, goes well. Too well. We met in an empty classroom today to speak, and almost before I knew it I had to excuse myself. New years cannot come soon enough. I haven't written about him much. Maybe I'm more afraid of them finding out about him than I thought. He came to me on the roof the other day, and took me into his arms. Kissed the doubt away, and told me he loved me… Medusa saw us, but she's agreed to secrecy.

I've met a man who looks just like my father today. His name is Alfred Lee. Or Frid Lee. Or Lowe. I must look into this.

As for that which lives in my mind… I am feeling remarkably lucid.

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