| Details for Jan 17 |
 |
|
Today was interesting.
This morning a rather quiet young man brought me an envelope. He was from Slytherin, I could tell from his robes. No one writes to me in Slytherin, though honestly, no one outside of family writes me to begin with. But today someone did. The sad boy sent me a letter, only…it wasn't a letter, not entirely. It was a copy of his journal. Two days worth, or pieces of two days. It was sweet. No one's ever shared their journal with me before and I don't know if I could have been brave enough to do that either. There's so much courage in it.
I think he's getting happier. I hope he's getting happier. He seemed happier. Honestly, it seems rather amazing. He kept one of the little birds. Just thinking about it makes me smile. I'm going to have to put that on my own list. Though I'm realizing that I think Slytherin's have the better common room. They get to see the bottom of the lake through windows and the baby giant squid and all I can think about is how wonderful that'd be and how I'd never get anything done because I'd spend all my time sitting there and watching things. I don't much like our view of the ground, though it's fun sometimes to watch the snow fall and to see the grass start to turn green again in the summer.
I miss the summer. I can't wait for it's return. For everything to be green and the flowers to bloom because they want too, not because of spells. There's more flowers to be seen in the spring. It's like watching the world come alive.
I was thinking about that today, when I was outside. Mister Bubbles likes go out in the grass and a charm to keep the cold away seems to help him just fine. I was out there, too, when Varry came along and he was playing again! He was playing and his music was happy and I just wanted to cry almost. It makes me feel good to see people happy. It makes me feel like I've done something right and I can only hope that they'll share that same help, share their joy with others and if everybody did just that simple thing, imagine how much better the world would be.
He tried to get me to dance though and I…I don't quite know how to explain that dancing in front of other people, in front of strangers, makes me nervous. What if someone sees? What if they laugh? But he was so sweet! And he told me that I'd look just like a fairy if I danced and I told him I didn't have any wings and guess what! He said that he could make me some. He's so talented and he has such a gift and he puts some of himself into each piece, though I don't know if he realizes it or not. That's the kind of talent that he haves. It could make him famous, I think, if he didn't want to be a curse breaker instead. I kind of wish that he'd just stick to sewing because he'd be safer that way and I'm secretly kind of thrilled that I'm going to have wings, even if I can't fly. I think they'll be beautiful.
Uly and I went to Hogsmeade today too, though…I didn't go see mother. I feel bad. And I know I should have but…but she makes me so sad and she's not okay and being around her just proves it. She's empty on the inside. There's something there that none of us can reach and I…I don't think she tries anymore. I've gotten used to it. I think we all have but, it still hurts me to see.
Instead we went to the farm and Uly laughed when the first place I hauled him was to see the sheep. I want one for home and a goat too. And to never have to think about the fact that he might actually leave, but he promised he wouldn't. He promised. I wish he was in the same House as me at school. I wish it so very very much. I worry about him. But it's going to be okay. We're going to be okay.
Tartar helps. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have him there to lean on and to hide in. It's not that I don't like the people in my house, I do but it's…it's different. They're not family. They don't know and they get sad, just like the rest. It's easier with family. They make it safe and help me breathe. They keep the sadness away.
I got a book for him today. Book twenty-three. It's a used copy and it's a little old but it's one that he didn't have and it was all I could afford. I bought some enchanted mice for Mister Sniffles and Grumples, too. So they can chase it and chase it and chase it till their heart's are content and it won't die because it isn't real and they'll always have something to play with. Mister Bubbles got some new flies. It's been a good day. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.
Today's List:
1. Syly kept a bird.
2. He actually kept a list! (And he shared it!)
3. I'm getting my own fairy wings! (Pretend ones, not real ones. I'd never want to see a fairy hurt that way.)
4. Uly says I can have a sheep. (I'm going to wear him down.)
5. Finding book twenty-three.
Neatly stuck between the pages is the copy of the journal from Syly.
(OOC: Posted, with Silas permission.)
Entry 1713
Wednesday, 15 January, 1939
Must remember to make a copy of this and the next entry. Someone else deserves to see these as well. (and since I know you're reading this and wondering, yes, this is the copy).
Amazed at just how little I still know the people around me every day. Nearly every time I open myself to them, I discover a piece of the world that shines a bit brighter. Must remember to uncover more such pieces.
Was given a task… and I think it will make a good addition to these pages. Five five things today that make me smile.
One: Was putting on my vest today. Found something in the left breast pocket. A pink crane. One of the birds Dora folded for me. First smile of the day.
Two: Adelaide has been moody, perhaps feeding off my energy and letting it bleed onto her playmate Mephy. However, we finally found her sock today, which she attacked with abandon. It was nice to hear her chortle.
Three: The squid coiled around the commons window again this afternoon. I think he was hoping to get a snack. Seemed quite frustrated.
Four: Finally received an owl with the ink I ordered from that Knockturn vendor during the Holidays. It took longer, but was worth the reduced cost, and it stains wonderfully.
Five: Caught a perfect view of sundown tonight, from the Owl Tower.
(The rest you're not going to get to see. A boy has to keep some of his secrets!)
Entry 1714
Thursday, 16 January, 1939
(No intro paragraph for you this time! Ha!)
One: Had a friend come visit me in the Owl Tower today. Nice to have another reminder I'm not alone.
Two: Got some positive responses to an inquiry with a few pet vendors in London who were willing to trade contacts with me with promises of potential internships after graduation.
Three: Was passed a note in the middle of class from Dora. Chuckled a bit loudly. Professor glared.
Four: Woke up this morning with Adelaide curled up under my chin. She hasn't done that since we weaned her.
Five: Realized the perfect way to thank someone for taking the time and effort to make me smile on a day when I truly thought it impossible.
(And so there. This was to thank you. Corny, I know. But all the same. I guess, though, if you want more updates, we're just going to have to hang out again. And I promise, no biting this time. - Syly.)