(1939-01-25) The Epitaph of Kindness
Details for The Epitaph of Kindness
Summary: Myrus puts his thoughts down onto a piece of parchment, thinking it will never be seen by whom about it is written, and keeps it close.
Date: (1939-01-25)
Related: Balcony Dramatics

Pressed firmly into neat folds within Myrus' jacket pocket, he will keep this close to him, as a reminder that noone will be good enough for him, that he knows just yet. As the last pillar of happiness in his life crumbles to dust.. and brings his heart down with it.

I now know…

Love has no place for me anywhere.

At home, Mother, Father, Scarlet. You all told me things I didn't want to believe. I didn't want to hear because at that time, it was only Esther that held me up. When Alphard broke my hand.. when my parents just about disowned me for telling them I wanted to be with her.

Kindness is dead.

I stand on my own two feet. I need no hand to hold me up. Esther, you held me close, then without knowing, we became distant. You have someone close for you to tell your secrets to.

I already know your secrets.. I'd take you back in a heartbeat if I knew you'd ever be in it with me forever, standing next to one another. But that won't happen now, will it? I relied too heavily on you, I see that now. Now—

—I don't need anyone but me.

You remember all that hate that I have stored somewhere deep inside? You awoke it yourself. Thinking you kept it at bay. You held it's chain. And I think that part of me loved you too, for knowing it is a monster and wanted to be kept in check. But you left that part of me, too, didn't you? Are you afraid of me? That part of me? Now it's hungry. And there's noone there to feed it anything. No love, no hate. Nothing.

Kindness is dead. Whether you murdered love and they both sank into the dark depths of lonliness, or if I am killing it now by writing this, the deed is done.

Esther, I don't hate you.
I don't love you.
I don't know you…

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