(1939-01-29) Filling Out Forms
Details for Filling Out Forms
Summary: Esther discusses her breakup, and her new resolution to drop the potions.
Date: 1939-01-29

The handwriting on this page is shaky, as if the hand of the woman writing it is trembling. While the ink was wet, a draught of peace has been poured over it, smeared in to render it completely illegible. The otherside is a neatly filled out form, with the text of another form painstakingly copied onto it.

No more potions. I'm done with them. They're a weakness, and the dependancy is making itself known. I'm better than this. I'm stronger than this. I'm going to put it all down, onto paper, and emerge from this stronger, better. What happened with Myrus Lowe;

Well, he calls himself Carrow now. Myrus Carrow. He's willing to do whatever it takes to hurt me now, which actually hurts more than anything he could do. Calling me 'Ester,' and then 'Em'. I have no time for him anymore, now that he's not willing to even be my cousin. If he wants to try and destroy my life, he's welcome. My friends and allies are stronger than he is. I'll waste no more tears for Myrus.

I worked out what happened. I was so comfortable, I felt alone. So supported, I felt like his acceptance was guaranteed. I planned terrible deeds, and if it weren't for those who thought of what was best for me, I would've succeeded. For weeks I took it as a badge of honor that Medusa thought I would have actually killed Alphard. It was a warning. And one I had to heed, when I saw that I was becoming a monster.

And enter my newest knight (Not really, he'll not defend me) - Zayn. Who came at the right time, said the right things, was the right person. Handsome, well pressed, so giving and so sweet. On a beautiful, moonlit night, the world felt perfect in his arms, and we turned to kiss - And the world stopped. And then you said the words that turned from attraction, from dependency, into /love/. You proved to me that you could stop me. You could make me better. You could show me another way.

No more potions. I'm not your Victim, Myrus, and I'm not theirs either. You can try and ruin me all you can. I'll take my solace in Zayn's chest, smell his intoxicating scent, gaze lovingly into his beautiful eyes, and cuddle him until the hurt stops. What will you do?

1. What is your name? Esther Valyrie Lowe
2. What is your year? Fifth Year
3. Are your hobbies or interests more interesting than asking for people to date you? Yes
4. Are you better looking than a whingy, scrawny, spotty, dark-haired, 5th Year Ravenclaw? Yes
5. Are you right in thinking yourself better than whingy, scrawny, spotty, dark-haired 5th Year Ravenclaws who can't even keep their cousins as girlfriends? Yes
6. Do you find it annoying when whingy, scrawny, spotty, dark-haired 5th Year Ravenclaws stare off in to space and when you try to tell them what is wrong with them, then demand to know why you don't like them? Yes

1. What is your name? Esther Valyrie Lowe
2. What is your year? Fifth Year
3. What are your hobbies and interests? Broomflying. Forbidden magic. Dark Defense. Potions. Arts. Dancing. Music.
4. What is your eye and hair color, and your height, weight and build? Grey, brown, 5'1.5, 87lb. Slender.
5. What is your House? Slytherin
6. What is your blood status? Pureblood, Lowe/Crabbe.
7. Why do you feel you should be selected for the date? Because you can claim you don't know me, you hate me all you want. You still love me though - But hell will freeze over before we're together again.

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