(1937-10-17) Hit Wizard 'Humour'
Details for Hit Wizard "Humour"
Summary: At the Leaky Cauldron, Niamh and Gideon are seen publically. But in several instances 'humour' falls flat. Then Elly puts Edwin through the greatest test, introducing him to Gideon.
Date: October 17th 1937
Location: Leaky Cauldron
Related: None
Characters
Edwin_CollinsElijahEllyGideonNiamh

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Leaky Cauldron London
Tue Oct 16, 1937 ((Tue Oct 16 21:17:16 2012)) (E,4 NE)


It is a fall night. The weather is cool and raining.


This cramped, angular room is the taproom of the Leaky Cauldron. A long bar runs along one side of the room, plain wooden stools set out before it. Smoke from pipes and candles fills the air. The patrons of this curious little bar, many of them elderly, sit hunched over their mugs at the tables. Waitresses sometimes coined 'Wenches' bustle back and forth bearing trays of food and mugs of ale. Many of the people seem strangely out of place, dressed in cloaks and floppy hats, as if they stumbled out of another century. Notably absent is any modern muggle devices or electric lighting, or any sign of electricity at all. Still, the occasional muggle does find their way in here, usually declaring it to be 'quaint' and 'atmospheric'.
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A drizzling, London evening has Gideon and Niamh hurrying into the Leady Cauldron, heads and coats damp. The Inspector takes their jackets, hanging them on a peg. He escorts his lady to a table tucked away to the side, pulling out her chair for her.

Running between the rain drops. That's what mum always said, and as a child, for years, Niamh tried to work out exactly how that could possibly happen. Thing was, mum took her to task on getting wet, too! As if she could run between the droplets?!

A bubbled laugh exits the Irish lady as she avoids the puddles, at least. As they rush into the Cauldron, 'King's X' as it were, Niamh's got the smile on her face as she takes a breath for the moment, the scent of homemade food surrounding her, enveloping her. Led back to the table, she waits for the chair (as Gideon obviously was going to pull it out for her!) and takes a seat with a nod and a 'Ta', the chair sliding back into place. "I can'tell ye how much time I've spent here. There are times when I swear they'd gone t'Ireland for some of their dinners."

Elly is studying in the relative quiet of the after dinner rush. A book on the bar she turns about to greet the new comers only hesitating for a moment when it registers who they are and that they are together before she offers them a big warm and welcoming smile. "Lookie wha the cat drug in." She says sweetly. "Warmed cider for the both of ye? Specials tonight are Fish n' Chips an' the soup is Leaky Potato Soup. Free drink with the special as usual." She closes up her book and slides it away into her apron pocket that doesn't look like it could barely hold a check pad. She bustles over to the couple and with a wave of her warm and sweet magical words hits them both with a drying and warming spell. "How's tha?"

Elijah arrives from Southwest Diagon Alley.

Gideon grins at Elly as he takes a seat. He's smiling! Who is this man? "All of it sounds grand, Elly. Niamh?" He looks to his tablemate for her order.

The pair are seated at a back table, having just come in from the evening's rain. It's the after-dinner 'rush', and now Elly's attending. Gideon and Niamh look.. newly dried, and in good spirits.

Nia's brows rise at the offering, her head shaking even with the smile still playing on her face. "It all sounds.. aye, I'll have both, an' end up bringin' some home for measure. But first, the potato soup. Your mum makes the best. Reminds me of my own's."

Niamh turns her attention back to Gideon, and she laughs at the comfortable, easy grin that seems to reside there more and more often. It's a sight she adores, and doesn't tire of it. "D'ye see that? He's smilin'.. an' I think he's starvin' t'death. So a good hearty bowl, Miss Elly. That'd be grand."

Elijah slides into the room, all sneaky Inspector-like as per usual. He's decked-out in his nice suit, though his old 'crazy-Elijah' long coat is thrown on over it and his hair is a bit out of order. Eli walks up to the bar, humming softly to himself and drumming his fingers lightly across the surface.

Elly giggles and is all smiles herself, "Aye, I know that hungry look in the Inspector's eyes. No gnawing on the table this time Gideon." She laughs and then whirls about to go put the order in. Of course pausing at Eli to slide her fingers through his hair and arrange it neatly. "An' for ye loverly? Milk or is it a whiskey night? Peckish?"

Gideon gives Niamh a smirk, and chuckles lightly at Elly's joke. "Aye, starvin' is right. Missed lunch today." All too common an oversight for Hit Wizards, who learn to subsist on coffee and stimulant potions. "I'll eat the whole cauldron, if you wheel it out," he jokes dryly. When Elijah enters, an eyebrow arches curiously. It's always a guessing game, deciphering what sort of day Inspector Lovegood is having. "Scotch," he adds to his order. "No ice."

Eli's arrival at the Cauldron and subsequent settling at the bar brings Nia's foot to Gideon's shin, and a stage-whispered, "Aren't ye gonna ask him to join us?" She nods meaningfully at his partner and back, the smile still easily playing in her good humour.

"Thank ye ever so much, Elly.." and Niamh settles in, nice and dry, and toasty warm, thanks to the fireplace and the kitchen's warm smells. "See? It's why we came here. He'd eat me out of house an' home.. an' I haven't been to market in these few days."

And it's back to Gideon, "Leave some for the rest.." she teases.

Elijah sits down at the bar and smiles at Elly, saying, "A whiskey, if you please, my love." He continues to drum his fingers along the bar, though keeps it low enough as to not disturb anyone. He looks back over his shoulder and gives Gideon and Niamh a nod, choosing to stay out of their collective business.

Elly rounds about the bar and pours Elijah his whiskey, setting it before him. Then she pours Gideon his scotch. She also warms up three mugs of cider and lets them mull as she goes to fix up the bowls and plates. Soon enough (magic is great!) she's returning to serve the couple their Potato and Leek soup both served in large breadbowls that are shaped like cauldrons. Dasher bottles of vinegar and oil are also set on their table after they are pulled from the same small pocket that her book went into earlier. "There ye both are, give a call if ye need anythin' else." Is spoken as she sets down the two large mugs of mulled cider and a scotch on the side for Gideon.

Gideon gives Niamh an even stare at her suggestion. But he gives a relenting sigh, and nods, calling across the room. "Lovegood. Come join us." Not exactly a request, but close enough, right? "And don't argue." He pushes out a chair with his foot, giving Elijah an expectant look. "Ta very much, Elly."

Ooooh, food! As soon as the order is taken, it's at their table, or so it seems. Niamh beams at Elly, "Ye've been in the Mysteries again, haven't ye? Playin' with time." Rolling her shoulders, she takes up a spoon and looks expectantly at Elijah. The offer's been made, and now she cocks her head, waiting for his arrival to their table. Leaning to whisper to Gideon, she also reaches out to lay her free hand on his, "S'only nice.. an' it's good t'see him in such spirits." On an even keel!

"Oh.. an' mum, by the way, is expecting ye next weekend. She asked me t'send ye their best."

Elijah gratefully accepts the whiskey and nurses it, before looking back over his shoulder at Gideon with a raised eyebrow. He stands up from his stool and glides across the room to the chair, resting his hand on the back of his, "A please would have been nice."

Elly cleans up the spot Eli's vacated and then sits down on the stool he's left warm for her and from her apron pocket she pulls out a thick tome that could only be a medical book with it's girth. It thumps on the bar and she parts it open again and hunches over it. Her wand coming out to practice motions explained in the book.

Gideon's brow lifts at Niamh. "Expecting me? Right. Of course." That blindsided him a little, but he nods his affirmation before looking up at Elijah with mild irritation. "I could have invitations printed, and ask you by owl. Or you could sit down and enjoy some company." He'll get no "please" from Gideon today, it seems!

"Mmmm.. I might have mentioned ye once or twice in the last couple o'dinners…" comes as a light confession; Niamh's not sorry in the least! Dipping her spoon into the soup, she savors the meal, "Oh, Elly," and she raises her voice for this, "It's perfect!"

Watching Eli's approach, she dips her head, a soft laugh sounding at Gideon's response. "There's only so much I can do, Elijah.. I'm sorry.." Again? Not sorry in the least, and she turns her gleaming eyes back to the ginger Scotsman. "I think owl would have been a little much. Feathers in the drinks, an' all.."

Elijah raises his eyebrow to Gideon and says, "As charming as ever, Adamantus." He sits down in the chair and crosses his legs, leaning back and resuming the nursing of his whiskey.

Elly peeks over, "Play nice boys." She says in that sweet but warning sort of tone. She then beams at Niamh. "Glad ye like it! I did the cooking earlier so it's mine and nah Mumsies." So Elly seems extremely pleased that Niamh likes it so much. She then brings the book over to the table with her, "I'm sorry to bothah, but…" She lowers the book down to point to a word, 'acrochordon' out to Elijah, "'Ow do ye say tha word?"

Gideon takes a sip of the cider, quickly followed by several mouthfuls of soup, giving a deep nods of approval to Elly. "Fantastic." He peers curiously at the word. But, eh, Elijah is the brainy one. Let him sort it out. "Elly, take a load of your feet." He pushes out the last chair at the table, gesturing to it with a free hand while he shovels more soup with the other.

Niamh looks at Eli, her lips pressing together in a thin line, amusement dancing in her eyes. Looking to Adamantus, she watches him for a brief moment before she takes another spoon. "Elly, I'm n'sure I'll be needin' t'other with this. Ye did a wonderful job of it.. an' I'll tell your mum I said as much, too. Not that I want ye in the kitchen more, an' away from us all."

The word, however.. that's a strange one, and she too looks to Elijah, though she dips her head to take more of the soup, pulling off parts of the crust to dip. "Where-ever did ye see a word like that?"

Elijah looks over at the book and reads the word out for Elly, slow enough so that she can understand it, but fast enough that she won't feel patronized. "Acrochordon. In layman's terms, a 'skin tag'. Wait…why are you reading about skin tags, Elly?" He looks up to her and raises an eyebrow.

Elly blushes a little bit and looks a touch awkward but bounces a curtsy, "Ta." Then she settles down and settles the tome in her lap instead of rudely having it on the table while they are eating. "Aye, I know what it is…just nae how to pronounce it all dignified like." She repeats the word a few times before she doesn't trip over it and is able to say it 'properly'. "Thank ye. Hmm? Oh it's for my studies at Mungo's. Babies is sometimes born wif'm. Poor lil' tikes."

Flesh tabs. Just what Gideon wants to talk about while eating. He casts about for a subject change. "Elijah. Tell the girls that joke we heard from Auror Flipswitch yesterday." Much better. Put Lovegood on the spot, and no more acronomicons…or whatever.

It's after-dinner, and the rain is drizzly, making the chill outside seem a little more. Within the Cauldron, there is a table towards the back that is occupied (as well as many others!)

Niamh goes silent now, attending her meal, letting the conversation go on around her, with Elijah and Elly having joined the table. At Gideon's request for Eli to relay the joke, her head does come up, her brows rising. "Joke?"

Elijah nods to Elly and says, "I know that Muggles will often cauterize them. How do we take care of them in the wizarding world? Cutaneous removious?" He smirks at his wizard humor and then looks over at her with a genuine interest. He looks over at Gideon and says, "I'd like to hear you tell it."

Elly gives Gideon an apologetic look. She really didn't mean for Elijah to give the definition! Honest! Meep! Chewing on her lip she looks back down at the contents of the book. "Diffindo minora." She whispers very quietly to Elijah, "Acrochordon." is then also practiced as well, but she pauses to look up at Gideon with a bright smile, eager to hear this joke.

Gideon gives Elijah his usual glare. Seriously? They want Gideon to tell a joke? It's miraculous enough that he knows one. "You'd tell it better. Go on. Don't keep them waiting."

"Jesus, Mary an' Joseph.. will one of ye please tell the joke?" Niamh looks between the partners and fixes each of them with a lingering look. "Or shall I go see Auror Flipswitch m'self?" She exhales in a soft chuff, though she hasn't lost her good humour. And, of course.. the soup hasn't yet been unattended! She's down near the end of her trencher, and laying her spoon down, begins to pull off bits of soaked bread.. daintily and pops them into her mouth.

Elijah shakes his head with a grin, his blue eyes sparkling happily as he looks at Gideon, "Oh, no. It was your idea. I couldn't steal the spotlight from a wordsmith such as you, Adamantus. Regail us with your jovial tale." He looks over at Niamh and says, "Appeal to your beau's soft, cuddly, jokey side."

A bit of warmer weather and the leaves roll past the door of the Cauldron and as that door opens in comes Edwin. His eyes do their usual thing where he checks out who is about before he really comes in all the way. He gives a little smile at seeing a certain person and finds his way to the bar as he takes note of the conversations around the place. If one looked closely, they would see him really scan behind the bar for a moment before he places his coat down and walks behind it to get a glass of red wine.

Elly blurts out when Niamh demands for a joke, "What does an Irishman get after eating Italian Food?" The door opening gets her attention as it usually does and she turns about and brightens up, "Edwin, come over an' meet my friends!" She waves to him gesturing for him come over to their table.

Gideon gives Edwin the stink-eye when he goes behind the bar. That man doesn't work here! But Elly doesn't seem to mind, so he settles his hackles. For the moment, Elly has spared everyone from hearing a joke from the grumpy Hit Wizard, so he keeps his silence for now.

Niamh straightens at Elijah and her head cocks, "The first thing ye've actually said t'me since walkin' in, an' it's a request for ye? No 'Evening, Niamh'.. 'Fine night' or 'Thank ye'?" Settling back into her seat and picking at her crust, she shrugs, "I've heard him tell a joke or two.."
She waves a hand at Elly, shaking her head, "Not ye, Elly.. that lot.." but before she can say more, Elly's waving over someone, and she twists around to see who she's talking to. Not hard, should she follow Gideon's gaze, and she offers a friendly smile in the man's direction. "We shan't bite.. I promise ye."

Elijah looks over to Niamh and says, "I do apologize. It was not my intention to offend you." After pondering for a few moments, his eyes rest on Elly and he says, "Gaelic breath. Too obvious, Miss Elly. No twists or turns at all."

Edwin was pouring his wine when his name is called. He looks up from behind the bar and smiles as he takes his wine and begins to make his way over to the table with Elly and looks to those at the table with a smile, "Good evening." He speaks and gives a bow of his head before he takes a sip from his glass before he gives a smile to the biting remark from Niamh before he gives a little chuckle at the answer to the joke.

Elly pouts when Niamh refuses her joke, she was saying it for Niamh in particular, the pout only deepens, so that's what the back side of Elly's bottom lip looks like when Elijah ruins her joke and criticizes her for it. "Be nice." The book is slide into her apron pocket again so she can stand and lean against Edwin taking up his free hand he makes her pout vanish instantly. "E'ryone, this is Edwin Collins. Edwin, ye know Elijah Lovegood, dinnae know if ye've met Niamh O'Shea an' Adamantus Gideon in your regular visits 'ere."

Gideon nods to Edwin, his gazing turning to a with a steely, scrutinizing examination the moment Elly cozies up to him. "Mr. Collins." Once introductions are done with, he relents and spreads his hands. "Alright. The joke. Don't blame me if you don't laugh. So…A blind wizard walks into a pub. He finds his way to the bar, and after ordering a drink, he says to the barkeep, 'Want to hear a Slytherin joke?' The pub goes dead silent. The barman says, 'Sir, I am a Slytherin alumnus. I'm used to handling a rough crowd alone. I have my wand drawn. The wizard to your left is an Auror with his wand drawn. He, too, was in Slytherin. The witch on your right has her wand draw. She was the dueling champion of Slytherin. Are you absolutely certain you want to tell that Slytherin joke?' The blind wizard says, 'Merlin, no! Not if I'm going to have to explain it three times!'"

"A 'hello' would've been nice," is simply repeated, and as far as she's concerned, the matter's dropped.

Now, with her having that foot in the Muggle-door, as it were, Niamh's a bit .. funny about Irish jokes, having been the brunt of them for some time, since school, really. Still, she offers her friend a smile at the punchline, and chuckles. "I'll have to remember that one."

Edwin's introduction brings her around, and the friendly smile remains in place; she's a woman that seems to prefer the expression over many others. "A pleasure, Mr. Lovegood."

It's Gideon, however, with his joke, that steals her attentions, and her brows rise, her gaze settling upon the man, a quirkly smile replacing the other. At the punchline, she laughs again, and reaches a hand to squeeze his. "That's funny.."

Elijah stands up from his chair after the joke and says, "And on that note, I shall be leaving." He pats Gideon on the shoulder and says, "It was a nice try. Work on your presentation." He fishes some money out of his pocket and sets it down on the table, covering his drink and a generous tip. After that, he slips out of the door, out to go wander around London.

Edwin looks to each person as Elly introduces them. "Mr. Lovegood. Madam O'Shea. Mr. Gideon. A pleasure to meet you all as he lifts his glass to each in a toast. As his other hand is claimed by Elly he smiles a little more and leans over to nudge her head with his own a bit. "Hello, my dear." He speaks to Elly. And to the joke, he gives a weather hearty laugh and lifts his glass to it, "A good tale." And then to Elijah, "A pleasure to meet you."

Elly leans over to place a kiss to Elijah's cheek as she naturally moves to help him get into his coat before he exits the pub. She offers a tender smile to Niahm. "He doesn't mean to be rude, he's just nae got a good social graces part of his mind. It was removed and replaced with technical mystery solving wizzamabobs." Elly and her medical terms tonight! "He's a good man though. Is it alright if Ed joins us?" She asks the couple before re-taking her seat and drawing Edwin down into Elijah's now empty seat. The money is also swept into the bank of her bosom (slid into her cleavage).

Gideon gives Edwin another appraising look. It's the sort of look Edwin has seen before…from Mick. "Aye. Have a seat. Let's get to know each other. What do you do, Collins?" He's making no particular effort to disguise the fact that this just turned into an interrogation.

Edwin is pulled into the seat and he does his best to keep his wine in the glass before he settles it on the table. Then he looks to Gideon and smiles to the other man, "I am an Obliviator. Been one for about three years now. Went to Hogwarts, Hufflepuff. Live in my own house around the corner…" And then he chuckles lightly, "And I adore this woman." He looks to Elly before he directs his attention to Gideon, "Any other questions?"

Elly gives Gideon a 'Be gentle' look and then she blushes brightly when Edwin confesses his feelings towards her. "Ed was just a year ahead. Very quiet, very determined young man, very focused on his studies." She informs Gideon.

An Obliviator. That's where Gideon must have seen the man before, at the Ministry. Other questions? "Plenty. Are you and Elly seeing each other?" His eyes shift to Elly as well — undoubtedly dodging a concerned look from Niamh as she steps away to freshen up — as it's really a question for both of them.

Edwin gives a nod, "Yes." He answers the question and looks at Gideon. "Seeing her for…" He thinks for a moment. "Well, I have been coming here just about every day for the past three years since I graduated. Mostly to see her." He speaks and then looks to Elly and smiles.

Elly sighs to Gideon's 'plenty' she doesn't have Gideon wrapped around her finger like she does her Dada, so while she's been able to get Mick to not start with all of the grilling questions and treat Edwin with a certain level of warmth…she doesn't have that sort of control over Gideon. "He's been coming to…" She trails off when Edwin says what she was going to say and with a beaming doe eyed smile she points to Edwin in a 'what he said' sort of way. "I was finally able to convince him I was interested in him more recently though. But someone's nae been around to gush to, so this is the first ye have heard." A pointed look goes to Gideon.

Gideon doesn't seem to find much humour in Edwin's play on words. Elly's attempt at guilting him is met with a simple, "Hm." He turns his attention back on Edwim. "Have you ever been married, Collins? Any children?"

Edwin shakes his head, "Never been married. No children. Want to be married and I want children." He responds and then looks to Elly to say something else but he pauses for a bit and then goes quiet.

Elly hugs Edwin's arm and then gives Gideon a straight look as she asks, "How's your soup?" She is trying to change the subject much like he did just earlier about flesh tabs.

"Delicious," says Gideon. He'll give her that much, but it's not going to deter him from grilling this young man. "And how do you see yourself supporting a family? Being an Obliviator is busy work. It'll be difficult to find time to act as a husband and father."

"Why do you think I have been coming in here for three years."

Niamh manages to navigate the increasingly busy establishment, moving around small groups that are settling near the bar. It's all taken care of; no one's fussing because Elly's detained, though she is a constant in the place. She stands at her seat when she arrives to catch Gideon's questions towards Edwin, and she clears her throat, "Elly's da can ask those questions, Adamantus," she offers quietly. "I'm sure another drink might be in order then?" She catches the other two, her brows rising in inquiry.

"Why do you think I have been coming in here for three years." Edwin smiles and nods to Gideon, "You make time for a relationship. It's how you make something flourish and make a life better… You make it. There are ups and downs and all over the place things can go wrong or really, really right." He smiles softly.

Elly smiles ever so gratefully that Niamh's returned. "Aye! Drinks!" She then starts collecting up the empties and for the first time in her life doesn't clear a table on her own, "Edwin, could ye nab that mug for me? Hands are full." She's not about to leave him to the wolves! His answers though do earn him quite the kiss to the lips once they are away behind the bar together. None of Elly's other beau's in the past are allowed behind the bar, it must be serious.

Gideon rises as soon as Niamh returns, and pulls her chair out for her. "Elly's Da is a good man, but she's got him wrapped so tight around her finger he can't see straight when she gives him a pout," he states bluntly, giving Elly a you-know-it's-true look. He levels a serious gaze at Edwin. "I ask because I care about her. She's a sweet girl, which you seem to know. Treat her right." So commands Gideon!

Edwin gives Elly a nod and reaches out to grab the mug and follow her right before he looks to Gideon and speaks, "She's an amazing girl. One I hope to call my wife some day." He speaks quite honestly to Gideon. "And to have amazing friends like you makes life even better." And then disappears behind the bar and gets quite the wonderful surprise from Elly. He looks to her and just beams.

"E'en a man like that wants t'see his girl happy and well off," Niamh sits down at the seat now pulled out for her, and looks up at Elly as the other girl rises to begin to clear the table. She notices that Edwin's helping, and she nods approvingly. "I think drinks," she repeats, but the breath catches in her throat- marriage? Already? "Don't ye go playin' wi'her.." Okay, so she's joined in.. but when the pair move away towards the bar, she exhales softly, and looks to her beau. "Ye know I roll my eyes at anyone who gives ye that speech about me, right? If ye ask men, it's like we've got no mind.." She pauses, however, and catches her breath as she organizes her thoughts, and drops her voice, "Is it me, or does it seem a bit soon t'talk of marriage?" As if she's got room to talk?!

Gideon grumbles as Edwin moves away, but Niamh speaks his mind for him. He nods to her, keeping his voice low for only them. "Going to have to keep an eye on that one. And aye, I'm sure you roll your eyes, and so does she. But you women are just as scrutinizing…if not more so." He levels a telling gaze at Niamh, who has just joined in the scrutiny. "Elly is too trusting of people. So I'll make no apologies for looking out for her."

"Keen would say the same o'me," Niamh reminds softly, and reaches out to take his hand. "When ye find a good man, ye can relax.. that's the way it is, if ye want to know the truth. If he lets her be her.. an' she's happy in it, and he acts as a helpmate, all's the better. An' ye need not make apologies," shaking her head, the gesture accentuates the words, "You're a good man, and one that will protect t'his dyin' breath. I wouldn't want to see ye any other way."

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