(1937-12-23) Big Heads, Small Talk
Details for Big Heads, Small Talk
Summary: Elijah tries to strike up a chat with Gideon. It goes about as well as expected.
Date: 23rd December 1937

After having a nice talk with Niamh, Elijah took an extra-long lunch and had…a not so nice talk with Miranda. Needless to say, he's not in the greatest of moods as he makes his way back from lunch and sits down in his desk with a huff, grumbling as he picks up a file and starts to flick through it.

It's one of those rare times when Gideon is actually at his desk. Even rarer than both Inspectors are sitting down together. He glances up briefly from the report he is filling out, arching an eyebrow at Elijah's uncharacteristic grumbling.

Elijah throws his coat somewhere near the coat rack and looks up at Gideon, saying, "What?" He plucks his quill out of the inkwell, as he prefers to keep things the old-fashioned way, at least in some respects, and begins scribbling away on a report, saying off-handedly, "Girlfriend was cheating on me."

Gideon blinks in surprise. Elijah has a girlfriend? "Bad business, that." He gives the man a nod, and pushes back the many awful speculations about why she may have cheated on him. Whatever he feels about the man, nobody deserves that.

Elijah keeps fervently scribbling away at the piece of paper, until finally the metal bit at the end pops off and Elijah just sets it all calmly down on the desk, rubbing his face and saying, "I uh…just got back in from breaking up with her. It was the chocolates that caused it, but she uh…she said she has feelings for him and they just kinda helped her along her way. I mean, they ran off to India together for Merlin's sake. You don't just do that because you're feeling horny."

Oh. He wants to talk about it. Well, Gideon is a natural choice for a relationship counselor…much in the same way a chipmunk is a natural choice for a guard dog. Gideon sliding his report aside and leaning back in his chair, fingers laced over his belly. "Sounds like time to go see your mates. Have a pint or four."

Elijah starts digging through his desk and says and raises his eyebrows, offering for a sarcastic smirk, "Mates, right. I'll get right on that. No, it's time to just…get back to work and stop trying to do things that I'm not good at." Essentially; relationships and backgammon. Eli manages to find another quill and says, "So, you and the O'Shea clan are running off for the holidays, huh?"

Relief! He's getting back to work…no, wait, he's still making conversation. Gideon pinches his lips, trying his best not to come down on the man who has just had his heart broken. "That's right," he says in a strained voice. "What is this, Lovegood? Look, I'm sorry that your woman was unfaithful. Truly, that's something no man should have to experience. But…what is it you want from me?"

Oh, that's right, Gideon's an asshole. Elijah just looks up at him and says, "I don't know. Maybe a little bit of 'give-a-damn'. Guess you're saving that for somebody else." He stands up and takes the file, moving to stuff it into the file cabinet next to his desk, just muttering to himself.

Now it's time to scowl. He really did keep it in check until this moment. "That's the thing about mates and partners. They do give a damn. So that when it comes time that they need someone to lean on — like you do now — they've got it. So save your self-pity. Maybe turn those genius detective skills inward and figure out why you've got no one to go have a pint with."

Elijah turns and looks to Gideon, saying, "I know exactly why. Because I find it hard to work with someone who lets his emotions get in the way of his police work. I've seen where that goes and it leads to ending up like me."

"I've been doing this for a long time, Lovegood, and I'm a far cry from ending up like you. Your problem is that you fell in love with your own legend. You're arrogant. You cannae accept than you dinnae have all the answers, no matter how brilliant you may be. You turn to bloody potions to try to 'fix' yourself, and it just makes you a bigger arse than you used to be, and your police work suffers for it. You're damn right I let my emotions get involved. If I dinnae give a damn, I wouldnae be doin' this job. So take your pompous English ego and shove it back in the bottle it came from." Gideon slides his report back into place, snatching up his quill to finish it.

Elijah turns and furrows his brow to the man, "The hell did you just say to me? You think that's the reason I went down?" He slides Gideon's report from out of in front of him and says, "Women died because I wasn't good enough. Because noone was good enough. And you think that I saw it as some sort of goddamn challenge!?"

Gideon shifts his glare up in warning to Elijah. "No one falls over one case. You built yourself up on a house of cards, and when you ran into a case you couldnae handle, it toppled under you. Everyone fails sometimes, Lovegood, and sometimes people die because of it. It haunts us all. You're nae special in that regard. But most of us dinnae think we're the Chosen One before that happens. So most of us learn how to deal with it."

Elijah slams his fist down on Gideon's desk and says, "Twelve women, Gideon. Twelve. And who knows how many else now that he's stepped up his game." He frowns and says, "I didn't think I was the chosen one. The Butcher did. He singled me out and ruined my life just because the Prophet singled me out as their 'hero cop of the week'." He glares at him and says, "Now, don't you ever propose to tell me why it is you think that case bothers me so much."

Gideon rises, putting his face inches from Elijah's. "You still think you're the gods' gift to law enforcement! The Prophet doesnae have a damn thing to do with it!" Now other Hit Wizards are starting to look their way. But Gideon growls on. "I dinnae tell you why the case bothers you. I told you why you're a wreck, you mad idiot. But you go ahead and keep thinkin' that you've suffered more than the rest of us. You know you're special, so obviously the Prophet, the Butcher, and Merlin himself must think you're special, too." He finally backs off and picks up his report. "Humility, Lovegood. It's the one thing you don't have, and the lack of it taints everything you do."

Elijah furrows his brow and says, "Just shut the hell up, Adamantus. It's like you haven't paid attention to a single thing I just said." He shakes his head and flops down in his chair, saying, "I'm just a cop, Gideon. Just like everybody else. I don't want any pedastals or medals, I just want a clean, normal life that goes towards helping people." He sighs and starts writing again, saying, "And I haven't had a potion in three weeks."

Gideon takes up his longcoat, slipping it on. "Good. They were terrible for you." Tucking the folded report into the inner pocket of his coat, he adds, "Keep tellin' yourself that. You're just a cop. When you start acting like it, you'll be a great cop. But if you want a clean, normal life, you'd best put bein' a cop behind you. There's no such thing for men like us." There is a moment's pause to retort, if Elijah so desires, before Adamantus strides off.

Elijah just shakes his head to the departing Adamantus and says, "Merry Christmas, Gideon. Tell Niamh I said 'thank you' for the gifts." He watches the man leave and goes back to working. It's probably for the best. Somebody's got to be around to answer the phones on Christmas when everybody else is off.

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