Details for I'm Not Crying |
Summary: | Niko and Janette have their real breakup and tears fall, voices raise and a decision is made. |
Date: | 1938-10-15 |
Location: | Gardens, Hogwarts |
Related: | Shortly After: Tears on the Stairs; Rain Dance, Duel Declined, After the Challenge, The Gorgon's Warning Goes Unheeded, Nothing Sweeter, Questions in the Wind, Unexpected Thank You, The Fountain and the Stars, Tears on the Stairs |
Characters |
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Gardens
Sculpted box woods and grafted flowering trees border fountains and statuary, benches of a wide variety of shapes and sizes affording a person the opportunity to stop and appreciate the beauty here or a quiet moment from the courtyard. A riot of salvia and geraniums are visible from one angle, maroon begonias alongide tall and bright scarlet bee balm blaze from the southern corner. Black eyes susans, contrast with rising sunflowers, tightly-clustered heads of sunny marigold and goldenrod bob lazily in the breezes that blow from the west. Across from the sunflowers, a profusion of green in the form of hostas and ferns coupled with Canterbury bells and even a few pitcher plants twist in a wilder jungle of more loosely-controlled foliage. Deep blue foxgloves, creeping lobelia and Siberian iris serenely fill the northern corner. Seventh Year Herbology students tend the garden of their own House's colors, those who truly care for their duties obviously taking visible pride in the health of their flowers.
It is in between classes, and Niko is sitting on the same fountain that he had first met Janette at. Silently, he sits there, his eyes closed, the normally warmth that follows him, gone. He looks deflated, broken and beaten. His hands move and run through his hair slowly.
Janette slips beside the boy, appearing from nowhere. She does not look at him. Her eyes are stabbed somewhere in the horizon, just studying the surrounding, and making sure there is no one around. Just when, her soft and worried voice comes back and whispers, "You are my light, Niko. Without you, I will be just… nothing. You brought happiness to my life and I felt that world is not so cold…" she sighs and adds, "Do you love that girl from Japanese, as people whisper about the hugs and everything…" she bites her colourless lip very firmly. Pale fingers nervously tugs the fabric of her robe.
Niko turns and looks at her, his bluish green eyes move over her slowly, "Janette…" he says slowly, "Kimiko is just a friend, there is tension there and we both have feelings for each other, but I would never do anything to hurt you, yes we have hugged as friend, but if things start to get a little too…" he starts looking for the right word, "When things start to move beyond friendly, we stop." he says with a small shrug, "I really care about you Janette…" he says his hand moving to touch the bracelet she gave him, "Next time you see me…" he says slowly, "You call me mud." he says slowly looking at her as he stands up, "Tell people you were already planning on leaving me, once you had heard about Kimiko and I." he continues, "Then start seeing Victor." he tells her, tears welling up in his eyes, "Save yourself from more problems." he says running his hands through his hair.
Janette glances at the boy and shakes her head, being as tearful as Niko. "If you care about me, would you care to do everything to save me from nights, when I will cry into my pillow?.. If you care about me more than you care about Kimiko… If you want me, keeping your hand…" she takes boy's hand, "Then we should do everything, what we can to save this… There are plenty places in here, to meet, Niko and… your idea about speaking with my parents is not silly. It's very clever,indeed, if you are not… afraid, and you really want this," her fingers are running through the boy's hand, "I would never call you mud. Just the light. The light in the darkness…"
Niko shakes his head, "I am not the light, I am just more headaches and pain." he says slowly, his fingers still on the bracelet, "Janette, since you've met me, you have managed to loose prefect, upset your parents, get called a blood traitor…" he says slowly shaking his head, "I am protecting you from all of this!" he exclaims, "Don't you see all I have done is bring you problems!" he throws his arms up in the air, "No it wasn't clever…" he says shaking his head, "It is me, just causing you more trouble… I care about you Janette, too much to put you through this for two years…" he says with a deep sigh, tears running down his face now, "I will always be your friend…" he says squeezing her hand, "But do this… do save yourself, before I cause you any more trouble."
Tears start running across her cheeks, but she does not sob. She just stares at the boy.
"I lost my prefect position, because of Douglas. Because I started the fight, saying that it was Alphard and Douglas was defending me. I wanted to be good for Douglas. My parents are upset just because someone else announced about this, not giving a chance for me to explain everything to my parents, and that blood traitor part… It's just silly. It's no you Niko, and I need you, to be… You helped me to walk the good path. I started to do good deeds, I became more comfortable with speaking, doing this, please… Don't walk away from me… Niko, if you really care about me, you won't turn your back on me. If you walk away… That means you actually like another and I was just an idiot…"
Niko snaps, "It's not about Kimiko!" he yells at her, "Stop bring her up and trying to make this about her!" he says, the tears still running down his face, "Stop it Janette, just stop all of it!" he says, "Don't you see I am trying to save you? That I am trying to protect you!" he says shaking his head, his bluish green eyes staring out her, "If you really care, you will save yourself and sacrifice me." he says, "Do what I told you too." he says shaking his head, "Fix this two years here for yourself, things are just going to be bad for me Janette, I'm stepping on to many toes and pushing to many buttons." he says in a pleading tone…
Janette does not raise her voice, she just whispers, "You are trying to protect me by leaving me all alone in the darkness?.. Is this how today's knights are behaving? Just to…" she takes a deep breath, but very hardly. It looks like that the girl becomes lack of air or something. "… run away when it is hard, not willing to fight?.." another gasp and the girl places her hand on her belly, while the other hand tries to lean into the fountain, that the girl wouldn't fall. "I was ready to do everything to be with you…" she is even more pale than she used to be. Pale in an unhealthy way, as she would swoon soon or something like that. The girl is trembling.
Niko shakes his head, his hand moves to the bracelet, his tear filled bluish green eyes looking at Janette, "But knights don't marry Queens, those belong to kings…" he says slowly shaking his head, "Knights are used to be sacrificed to protect the Queen." he continues, "And that is what I am trying to do, a sacrifice to protect you." he says slowly.
"Kings once were knights… Don't you think, that you became my King?.. And that is what important…" whispers the girl and just slips to sit on the ground, leaning at the fountain, because obviously, her legs does not keep her straight anymore. She is breathing, slowly, very hardly, as she would be taking the last breaths in her life, "If I am the Queen, let me order for you not to sacrifice yourself, we could sacrifice those,who try to stop us. Shouldn't we fight against purism,showing that everyone is equal or something like that?.."
Niko shakes his head, "Its the endgame Janette. Call me mud, so people can hear you say it…" he says slowly, "Victor is a good guy… I keep hearing in the Howler, that they were upset with you because I am a Half-Blood…" he says with a wave of his hand, as he starts to walk away, "Save yourself Janette, so I don't have to worry about you." he says, "I will always love you Janette." he says softly, before walking out of sight.
"You are the most cruel person I have ever met!!!" shouts Janette hoping that her words will reach the boy and she just curls near the fountain crying as just madly hurt person could cry.