(1938-12-01) Never Say "Sorry"
Details for Never Say "Sorry"
Summary: Esther goes to deliver her apology to Elizabeth, to repair their friendship. Instead, what she reveals fractures things even further, and ensures that his is one bridge that stays burned.
Date: 1938-11-30
Location: Great Hall - Hogwarts

Elizabeth had come back from Hogsmeade early, enjoying the quiet of the Great Hall that would otherwise be full of noise, chatter, and overall exuberance. She sits calmly on the Ravenclaw table, dressed in relaxed clothes rather than her school uniform while reading through a book. Occasionally popping a piece of Fizzy Wizzy into her mouth, engrossed of in the pages of a novel.

Myrus comes into the great hall expecting to be one of the first ones there. And he is. The few early-bird snacks and things that were out already would be enough for him to hold over until breakfast. But, he sees Esther immediately, and walks over to the end of the table. Not many people here right now, so taboo shouldn't come into play if he walks to the opposite seat from where she is across the aisle between the Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables, and would tap her on the shoulder (or wave her over if she was on the side facing his house's table), "Em," and he'd gesture to the seat next to where he was standing. Not many people here right now, so it shouldn't be too taboo for her to switch tables, right? Besides, noone he knew she would have to be over there for was here that he could tell. "C'mon, eat with me." A request hidden in a statement. He would then turn around to see… Elizabeth there, nose-deep in a novel. "Oh, hi there Liz." He catches himself, and completely disregards her request from a week ago. That or he forgot. So he sits down, grabbing a few things from the middle of the table and taking a bite of a few things, chewing contentedly. He was actually in somewhat of a good mood today.

Esther realises she's sharing the hall with Elizabeth again. Immediately, she wants to leave, the shame of what she's done burning in her mind - It takes a few seconds of sitting there, blushing, before she clicks. How intolerable this situation is. The hall is mostly quiet, mostly vacant - Myrus gets her attention easily. The silence means the Slytherin attracts few stares as she pushes herself up from the bench, and goes to walk over to the Ravenclaw table… Hoping, and then sitting down opposite Elizabeth. Myrus has sadly been quite forgotten for a moment. Her wand is whipped out, and placed infront of the younger girl. "… Elizabeth… I've been possibly the worst friend in the history of friendship. I've taken from you, I've ignored you, I've run from you. And you've done nothing to deserve any of it." A deep breath. In public, even. "I'm sorry."

"Elizabeth." the girl automatically murmurs, promptly correcting him without pulling her gaze away from the book. It is, after all, more important at the moment. Though just a breath after there's footsteps, and the wand is placed directly in front of her, opposite side of the table where she now sits. The wand in and of itself is an alarming symbol if it's ever drawn, and now here is Esther is setting it out in the open directly before Elizabeth. She idly glances at it over the top of her book, arching a brow at it a longer moment still before her pale gaze flicks up at Esther, quiet all the while through the explanation and following apology. Silence stretches before she exhales a slow breath and calmly closes her book, settling it flat on the table, tucking her small hands in her lap. "I appreciate that you acknowledge this and accept your apology. It's more than he's ever attempted. However, at this point I believe this to be 'old news', as it were." she murmurs calmly. "And because of this, the only reason you are now apologizing is thus because of your own guilt. You wish to relieve yourself of it, believing my acceptance will allow you to feel better." Elizabeth flicks her gaze to Myrus. "She's obviously in distress, and has been for some time. Have you done nothing to alleviate this?"

Being corrected again made him smile at how he could forget that. "Heh.." he chuckles breathily at her saying her full name still trying to get him to stop using that nickname he couldn't help but use now. He was used to it.
Myrus looks between the two females, his head scrambles to catch up, but it's like he's trying to judge an entire book of information with only the last page. The apology after the fact. He guesses that Elizabeth wasn't talking about him for the apology portion. He could be wrong, but that's his assumption.
As far as Elizabeth looking to him for 'alleviating Esther's stress level', he slackjaws and looks from Elizabeth to Esther slowly. When his eyes settle upon his cousin, he puts his face down towards his food, eating a little bit and not saying a word. He's definately turning red right now. He has no words to contend that… phrase. Or even.. something. His mind isn't working right now, so he just continues to eat as his brain reboots from some sort of internal shock of hearing that and the apparent embarassment that follows.

"I've been selfish. Indulging my own feelings, and machinations, rather than worrying about anyone elses. By the time I realised… I was too guilty, to embarassed to speak." Esther says so in a completely upfront manner. Her voice is carefully modulated, not able to carry. Her wand is left on the table - This symbol is not a threat, it's a gesture of submission. A way of indicating that she has no intention of fighting back. "… Moreso than what I've admitted. Moreso than Myrus knows. For purely selfish reasons…" Her eyes turn to Myrus, protective, fiercely. Her hand shifts, to lay atop of his. "… I executed an unprovoked, vicious and inflammtory attack on a friend of yours." They return to Elizabeth, the tears are visible in that normally impenetrable grey. "… I feel like… I…" A deep, shaking breath. "I'm so sorry, Elizabeth." At least she can use the girls full name. Her apology is deep. True. And probably warrants a slap in the face.

Esther's last few words are unanticipated. Her pale eyes blink once at the Slytherin girl before Elizabeth frowns to herself in confusion. "Wait, 'unprovoked attack'? On who?" she asks, unsure how exactly this relates to her, but Esther insisted that it was a friend of hers and that limited the number of people greatly. That number could be counted on one hand even. Her frown deepens as Elizabeth glances from her, to Myrus, then to Esther again.

Myrus' brows furrow as he looks up from his omnomnomnipresent awareness of the conversation and lifts his head, watching Esther as she puts her hand on his, looks at him with that darn protective look of hers, and speaks that he doesn't know how selfish she's even been. Eyes widen in confusion for a few moments, as he thinks on who'd been blatantly attacked recently. "You mean Gage's hair problem?" That's the version of the story he got. "Gage's hair grew out (becuase he's a werewolf, obviously) or something, didn't it?" But past what little he had heard, he did specifically hear it was Gage it was done to. Though, he's probably too busy listening to what Esther was saying to pick up on something small like that at the moment.

Esther takes several long seconds to speak. Her eyes focus on the table, her hair gently falling over her face. She's hiding from them both. "… Y-yes. Gage." A shudder, as she keeps herself hidden. "I bound him. Rendered him unable to speak, or stand… And left him humiliated." The last word causes her voice to crack, the young woman falling absolutely silent. A slow, unstoppable heave of her shoulders. Even a mass of hair like hers can't hide crying. She's the real animal, in this story.

Her soft lips part absently, wordless as Esther admits to what she had done to Gage. Even as she sobs silently to herself, Elizabeth is quiet for several moments before she murmurs, "Why?" she asks, so genuinely confused. "Why did you do that? What possible reason did you have to do that to a person?"

THis is almost more than Myrus can bear, seeing Esther like this. He stands, offering her at least a consoling hug. "Well, have you apologized to -him- yet?" He asks, still offering the hug anyhow. He wanted to hold her and say that everything would be all better, but he didn't know that just yet.

Esther's grip on Myrus's hand is tight, as if she's drawing upon it for strength. Her robe sleeve rides up a little bit, revealing the obvious bruise upon her wrist - The definite shape of a hand. "… Alphard…" To keep more than Myrus safe. Elizabeth too. "… He was going to hurt him…" A pause, a soft, unmistakable sound through the curtain. "… Hurt Gage, too…" She bites her lower lip, forcing herself to continue. "… So I warned him… Apologised…" She doesn't' seem to know she's being offered a hug. "… And did what I had to." A slow, shuddering intake of breath. "… Alphard will take everything I love from me… Until he finds something I care about more… More than who I think 'I' am…" The sort of person who would never do that to anyone. The strength she's gained in that sentence is unmistakable, though

Elizabeth could only listen with disbelief, quiet for several silent moments. Alphard. Again. It's always Alphard. And if he's involved, she could only guess that it's because of his purist beliefs. She's slow to rise to her feet, silent a moment longer. "Why isn't anyone telling this to the faculty. How is he constantly getting away with this?" she murmurs, glancing between the both of them. They were just as much to blame as Alphard was. They allowed themselves to be used, and Gage suffered because of them. And Esther was allowing herself to become twisted, like he was. The quiet stretches before Elizabeth exhales a small sigh. "I've always believed that a person's bloodline takes second to their actions. It's a persons actions that demonstrate what sort of person they are, what they will become." Reaching for her book and bag of Fizzy Wizzies, she holds one in each hand as she turns, walking away. Her heels clicking softly as she departs from the Great Hall.

Another door closes. Esther's attempt to reach out is gone, and with it, things are only going to get worse for the slender young woman. Another heave of her shoulders, a few more tears. And then a napkin, and… No more. Her apology laid flat, her actions and thus her named. The self-pity, the weakness and the sorrow burning away, leaving nothing in their place, waiting to be filled. Anger. She wasn't a monster. She'd come to apologise, to explain herself… And been left a humiliated wreck. The irony is lost on her. She's not a monster, no matter what Elizabeth might try to name her. Weak, perhaps. But she's fixing that. Becoming stronger, more confident. She draws a small piece of parchment from her pocket, and slowly draws a line through Elizabeth's name upon it.
She'll fix Alphard, too.

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