| Details for Nice and Naughty |
| Summary: | Phil bumps into Liza while doing some Christmas shopping in the Christmas market in Diagon Alley. She immediately ropes the blonde into helping her purchase rude gag gifts. Warning: Adult Themes Contained Within |
| Date: | 7 December 1938 |
| Location: | Diagon Alley |
| Related: | — |
| Characters |
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Carol singers stand near the corner, huddled together as they sing merry songs while shoppers dressed for the wintry weather mingle amongst the various stalls and dip in and out of shops. The weather seems to have been charmed in the alley and the raindrops falling in the Muggle parts of the city have turned the crisp dry snow here.
It's that sort of snow that draws the eyes, easy. A content smile on the woman's face as she pauses near the corner of the Leaky Cauldron to simply tilt her head up and watch. Peaceful, is the word that comes to mind and before she's really thought about it, she's humming along with the carolers, though certainly not loud enough to interrupt their melody.
Hands in the pockets of her thick wintry robes, Phil walks amongst the shoppers. She stops to purchase a paper bag of sugary roasted nuts from a stall. The carol singers draw a smile from her as she stands near the edge of the crowd listening to them.
It's the suggestion of style and wealth, that draws Liza's eye towards the woman's attire; a glimmer of admiration in her eyes. And perhaps a notable lingering over the silver pin before a shake of her head draws her back to the present and instead, her voice pitches to carry in unobtrusive greeting, "It certainly puts one in the mind of the season, doesn't it? All the smiles and the snow and the celebration."
Turning her head at the voice, Phil smiles readily. "It does at that." She offers Liza the chance to have some of the sugary roasted nuts she purchased. "I heard you were still about." Always one to have wealth, even if she was never flashy about it, Phil looks much the same as she did at school. Except now she is a journalist for the Prophet, writing about great crimes against wizardingkind.
"It's part of what makes it worth stepping back across, honestly. There's more," and there her smile turned into something that almost made her eyes twinkle, "Magic here. Particularly around the holidays." Though there was no such claim to fame nor status in regards to Liza's accomplishments, in fact, there was little word at all. She seemed to have disappeared off into the land of muggles, with no more than a month of odd jobs to sustain her where-abouts after graduation.
"It is rather," agrees Phil. She eats a few of the seasonal treats even if Liza doesn't opt to have any. "How have you been? You always were rather good at looking after yourself. So sensible." Her eyes light up, "I have an idea. How about you help me find the most obnoxious gift available. I want to give my brother a gag gift."
"Sensible? Now you're being kind. I was without direction," her tongue peeks between her teeth, "But I'm well. Good even. Better, now that the holidays are here. I still have this silly dream that, one day there'll be a cozy Christmas with the family, where things will sort out like you always imagined they would when you were a child and while…I'll grant it hasn't happened yet, I'm hopeful!" The sharing was easy, so was dislodging the snow from her shoulders with a light shake. "Hah. Which one are you shopping for? So I know just who we're out to embarrass." Grin.
"If you would like to come and have Christmas with us you are most welcome." Phil always was too trusting of some people. She slips an arm through one of Liza's. "Come, let's see what we can find my brother Alfred. I like to mock him at Christmas. Something blatantly sexual too. He will be forced to pretend he doesn't know what it is."
Linking arms with Phil, Liza's brow arches in surprise at the invitation. "Really? It wouldn't be an imposition? I don't want to put anyone out, or anything…," which was true. Liza might be a lot of things, but cruel and imposing weren't any of them. "I'm sure you all have plans..," a hint of worry rode with it, before much of it eased at the Christmas gift request and Liza couldn't help but giggle in amusement. "Oh my! That's a rather tall order. Something with lights then, flashing ones. And perhaps some sort of bell," she conspires, expression thoughtful.
"Really," response Phil with a grin. "I insist. You shouldn't be alone at Christmas. There are so many of us, you might regret saying yes but hopefully not." She laughs when Liza seems to get into the spirit of things. "Yes, there most certainly needs to be a bell." As if they were the oldest dearest friends, Phil leads Liza off to a rather unobtrusive shop which has darkened windows and a sign which makes it clear there is an age line on the threshold, barring anyone under sixteen from entering.
"I'm okay with crowds, so long as the rest don't mind me," it comes with an easy smile. Liza offering a light squeeze to Phil's arm; the gesture one of appreciation and a quiet thanks that went beyond the simple invitation. A gesture full of gratitude. Though, as they approach the shop, there's a dance of laughter in the woman's eyes again. "I remember trying to go in once, when I was fifteen and looking for something to prank Rodolft with over summer holidays. I'd a beard for two weeks. And remember being deathly afraid I'd see someone from school I knew, who'd never let me life it down."
The retelling of the story makes Phil laugh. "I was never that daring. I waited until I was older and then my sister found out and screamed at me for weeks. Some friend of her's saw me coming out of the shop during a summer holiday." She is still laughing at the memory as they walk inside and are greeted by the wizarding version of a sex shoppe. "Where shall we look first? Self rotating pasties?"
"Hah. Something he can eat!" Liza exclaims before not a half breath later she seems to realize what she's said; the laughter coming easy and perhaps, perhaps the slight telling hint of pink to her cheeks. It has her muttering a hasty, "That wasn't at all what I meant," in an attempt to ease things, even as she nods a greeting to the proprietor. "Have you seen their version of a howler? It spouts provocative prose, while modeling the same sort of…poses. I sent one singing happy birthday to my Da' once. He did not find it funny." At all. What hidebound muggle would? A pharmacist, no less.
Phil's eyes light up at the idea of a provocative howler. She chortles, "Yes, let's look at those." Leaning up on her tip toes she peers around the shop and drags Liza off in another direction entirely. "I would rather hope my father wouldn't know what one of those things were saying, but I bet Alfred does."
"Ours isn't the best relationship. I had hoped it would amuse him but, alas. Few things, if any, I have decided, amuse that man." Liza's nose wrinkled at the memory, for all that the look wasn't one that lasted; not as she was hauled off in another direction. "I think they're near the back there, next to the dancing broom baubles."
Following Liza's directions, Phil guides them that way but releases the other woman's arm. She stops to look at a few things, giggling over some of them. "I wonder if I should get one of these for my fiance." Phil lifts up a Christmas bauble shaped like breasts and shows it to Liza.
Liza can't help but laugh, amusement dancing in those dark eyes. Before her whole face just lit up as what she heard seemed to dawn on her. "Oh you're engaged? Congratulations Phil, that's wonderful! Who's the lucky man?"
Deciding to purchase the item, Phil keeps ahold of it. "Thomas Carrow. He was a few years behind us at school. Runs a book store now." Lowering her voice she confides, "He's got the bookstore that got into trouble for selling Muggle books and standing up to the Army of Truth."
"I don't remember him," it comes with the distant look of one staring down the doorway to the past and becoming puzzled, when all the pages seem to be stuck together with wine and full of holes. "But I'm glad that you're…I remember hearing something about it, but I don't subscribe to the..," her wince was slightly apologetic at that point. "Not because you're there or anything, it's just, I unno." Well, now that she'd dug herself a right proper hole. "It's good to see someone standing up to it though. Someone should."
"He almost lost everything. He was getting threats. He stopped protesting to get them to back off, but he won't stop supporting the muggles." Phil keeps her voice low, not wanting to cause any more problems for Thomas but also knowing her fiance well enough to know he might have retreatd briefly but he won't give up the war.
"Does he need help, supporting his cause?" Liza's question is a soft one, pitched so that it doesn't carry and the odds of it carrying become suddenly less when she prods gently at a small figurine in a dress that giggles incessantly every time it's touched.
Phil lifts up a rather rude tie which depicts Father Christmas and an elf doing things children should never see them doing. As it is a wizarding tie the two figures are animated. Wordlessly she shows it to Liza, brows raised in amusement. "He could use friends, to know there are others out there who think how he does."
"Hah," Liza cracks, unable to keep an entirely serious expression in the face of that tie. "I…that. That is what you should send your fiance instead of the other. He can wear it to work. Though…perhaps not, if there's children's books." A precarious situation. "I don't have much, but I could probably pick up a thing or two that might help." If it was first sold off and the coin summarily converted. "If yall wanted?"
Thinking on it, Phil, wonders, "Are you good for money?" She cannot quite recall what Liza's situation was as a student. "I know Thomas is after someone to help him in the shop now that things have picked up again."
"I, ah, get by." It's careful, the way those words are chosen. "Sometimes Da's good for the odd job or two." There. That sounded a little more solid didn't it? Less inclined to invite the sort of questions that would demand answers to her income. "But, I could help out, if he needed it. Something fair though. Perhaps a book instead of a wage, or a bottle of wine."
With a little laugh Phil says, "Thomas would most certainly agree to pay with books. Especially if you fancied muggle literature. He is a devotee." She turns the tie around again. "I think this is what I should give Alfred. I think this is what will embarrass him the most." She nods, seemingly quite pleased with herself.
"Oh I do. That's where I've been picking up the odd jobs, honestly. Telephone operator is something that, I've managed without mucking up too terribly. Though there's been deliveries for Da', on occasion." Ugg. That suggests she hasn't gone very far, doesn't it? Bah. "It's a fitting tie. It's certainly very ah..animated." Grin.
On an impulse Phil grabs another tie, this one more a heterosexual bent than the previous. "And I know just who to give this one to." She smiles at Liza, "It was kismet running into you, Liza. Absolute kismet. I would never have thought about coming in here otherwise."
"I don't know what to say, Phil, that I've reminded you of a sex shop. But I'm certainly going to take it as flattery," the woman laughs, offering a little shoulder-bump to Phil with an easy smile. "I think it's been rather good fortune running into you as well."
Tucking the ties beneath her arm Phil is left to figure out what to do with the bauble. With a grin she hangs it from her ear so that she can fish in her handbag and find her usual notebook and pencil. Flipping to an empty page she writes out an address for Liza to apparate to on Christmas Day. "If you turn up outside the gates at around midday then I'll come out and meet you. Dress however you wish to, some of my family are very formal others opt for hideous Christmas jumpers."
Hopefully it'll be someplace that one could just as easily walk too as well, because Jenny…struggles with apparating at all, which is to say..she doesn't. "I'll be there," the young woman promises, flashing a grin. "Though, if you hear anything about that work, send me an owl, would you? Or, if, perchance you're in the mood for doing something before then."
"Pop by the shop. Books Unbound in Verdic Alley." Phil stuffs her notebook and pencil away again then takes the ridiculous booby bauble off her ear, it was never a flattering earring to begin with. "We should meet up again, maybe over the New Year? There must be a mad cap party going on somewhere."
"I'll do that!" Liza promises, rocking back on her heels. "And I'm sure we can find a good one, surely. Though I'm sure your planning a rather intriguing party of your own, aren't you? For your wedding, I mean. Have you set a date yet?"
As Phil heads towards the cashier to pay she rummages in her bag for her coinpurse. "Oh yes, but it isn't for ages. Nine months away." The idea of a party linked to her wedding makes her groan. "My sister, Felicity is my matron of honour. I just know my hen do will be tedious. Her idea of fun is reading a medical journal and having a cup of tea with two types of biscuits."
"Aww, well if she should happen to need a little help with the planning of that particular facet," Liza suggests, those dark eyes twinkling with merriment. "I'll be sure to give her a list of suggestions, linked to thise particular shop along with your preferences for them," the talk was amicable, as she followed Phil towards the counter. "How long have you been with the paper now, anyway?"
"Since graduation. Finally I am able to do more than just write fluff pieces on quid players and society matrons." Largely in part because Phil did an investigative piece that led to the arrest of a high profile thief and the public chastisement of the MLE. Forced to wait in a queue, she leans over to peer at what the wizard in front of them is buying. Phil presses her lips together to keep from laughing and motions for Liza to take a sneak peek.
Following Phil's gesturing, Liza eases up to glance over his shoulder so that she could see what it was that had the other girl trying not to laugh so very hard. So she mouthed, very very quietly, 'I didn't know they sold animated sheep here!' Though perhaps, she should have. And anything she might have been going to say about jobs, was lost with the way her shoulders shook and tears threatened in her eyes.
Phil clears her throat and when the wizard turns to peer at the pair of them she has to look away and cough. Thankfully his attention is drawn by the cashier. "Goodness," she says to Liza. "So…uhm…how about those Appleby Arrows?"
"Rather fantastic of them to win, I thought!" Liza agrees, all too quickly, while attempting without much luck to keep a straight face when he looks back their way. "I'm glad too, I'd a bet riding on them and it would have been baaaahd form if I'd lost it!"
"They certainly would have had wool between their ears to have lost to the Chudley Cannons," agrees Phil with a nod.
It was a mingle of frustration and embarrassment, that had the wizard before them stiffening somewhat, (No pun intended!), while the shopkeeper was flashing a decided look in the pair's direction and muttering something about paying customers, which had Liza reaching out blindly for the nearest shelf and grabbing the first thing her hand landed on. "I'm paying, see!" Only…she didn't realize, until she'd held it up, precisely what it was she'd grabbed…
"Goodness," says Phil when she sees just what it is Liza is paying for. "Are you sure you fancy those?" The problem with impulse buys in an adult wizarding store is that they are bound to be embarrassing. Horrendously so. Phil's brows arch upwards as she looks at the animated advertisement on the box of Christmas pudding scented crotchless knickers. "Interesting that it comes with its own incantation so they can just fall off."
"I..," Liza's eyes turn up towards the box and she blinks, once twice and there's a somewhat furious swirl of color in her cheeks. "Yes." Stand by errant terrible decisions! "Of course. I'll need something to give you for your hen's night, won't I? After all, it will be the season to be jolly, right? That never goes out of season."
Phil laughs. "Of course." She lets Liza out of that one. Then it is her turn to pay for her gag gifts, which she does with a few sickles and one or two knuts. "Just make sure you get the right size then, that box is for rather large knickers."
"Ack!" Eyeing the size on the package, Liza eases it back onto the shelf and looks Phil over, before settling on something a little smaller and surely closer to the proper size. "Perhaps you'll grow? Little ones and all that," helpfully suggested, while she went fishing through her pocket for the appropriate change, so that she could be prepared, "Oh look how adorable. His and Her's earbobs!" Right at the counter, with the nips on the naughty bits flashing Christmas colors in miniature. "I think I'll get a pair."
As Phil's purchases are put into a little black bag that isn't at all suspicious, oh no, she grins at Liza. "I think you should get those and wear them when you go see your family over the holidays. See if they notice." Taking her bag from the shopkeeper she gives the blonde woman a little hug. "I should go, but send me an owl if you fancy getting together before Christmas."
"I'll do just that!" Liza promises, with a grin that stretches ear to ear, returning the hug with a gentle squeeze. "If I don't see you by the shop. I'll definitely stop by there." And then, then there's dealing with her purchases, twinkling earbobs included.
"I'll hold you to that," threatens Phil with a grin and then with a wave she walks out of the shop.