| Details for That Was Unexpected |
| Summary: | Silas and Jenny share the details of their days, how things must surely look and then, a little more than either of them bargained for. |
| Date: | 1938-12-16 |
| Location: | Cliffs - Hogwarts. |
| Related: | A Kind Word and a Smoke and other various Jenny and Silas logs. Warning: Sweet level: Toothache. |
| Characters |
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A change in pace, a change in scenery, all were things that brought solace to Silas… while he wasn't even remotely troubled at the moment, all the plotting and arrangement and making a point to socialize with others was getting to him. Here, at the cliffs, though, with the steady call of the wind over the Black Lake, and the picturesque view from atop the cliffs overlooking it, he finds peace. He's alone, only his knapsack beside him, a large blanket on the ground (waterproofed, which is good, considering there's still patches of snow on the ground). Next to him are two more, and another over his lap.
He'd left a note for Jenny, and clearly he was conspiring with her cat, because he had somehow coerced to let him send it around his neck with a ribbon. The note was short and simple: "Would love some alone time with you. I'll be at the cliffs." So now he sits there waiting, eyes closed, hands in his lap, almost meditating for all of his stillness.
Overhead, the sun has already begun its retreat past the edge of the world, the reds, purples, and oranges of its flight playing across the clouds.
Most people would have probably arrived on foot, but Genevieve wasn't most people. And while the cliffs brought Silas peace, it was the skies that calmed her nerves and her temper and her mind, right along with it. So she was dressed for flying, with her attire charmed for repelling cold rather than repelling weather or water or what-have you.
The skies were prettier up there, where the colors of the clouds were something it seemed that you could almost reach out and touch and to be fair, on more than one occasion she had tried. But the girl was easy to make out, a dark blot on a bright horizon that came ever nearer and it was apparent that she'd been on the pitch before she'd met him too, by her robes, by the sight of his gift clad on her frame. And the ribbon that he'd sent the note with? She used it to bind back her hair.
So the broom pulled up, as Jenny cirled in, landing neatly just beside where he'd the blanket spread, a bright smile on her wind-burnt cheeks. "I wish I could draw, sometimes. If I could the sight of you sitting here on the cliffs would have made the perfect picture."
The boy doesn't open his eyes immediately upon hearing her voice, but the smile of recognition is clear, honest, and were it physically possible, would likely split his face in two. Between his late nap on Sunday, and the like, he'd not had a chance to see Jenny for most of a day. Ruefully he chuckles at the thought how, not even a month ago, the thought of having more than a day pass between seeing someone would actually carry weight with him.
His cool eyes open, looking directly to her, as he takes in Genevieve's appearance, "Ah!" is offered, a pleased exclamation as he stands up to greet her, arms wide, "They suit you as well as I'd hoped." At the complement, he looks down a tad, smile warming even more if he could, spreading blood to his cheeks, "Perhaps, when we have a day to make of it, I could see if perhaps I could show you a few tricks. You never know what hidden talents could be waiting there to emerge."
And then finally, "Thank you for joining me, by the way. I almost worried I was presuming. Almost."
There's generally a time limit for these things, two weeks was the cap, it was there for her best interest and everybody elses before silly things could happen like…attachment. But somehow, between his stark honesty and the realization of a need that she hadn't known she'd possessed, two weeks had come and gone and here they were, still…pretending?
Because the sight of his smile, the sight of him, brings her own and as she settles her broom on the edge of his blanket and moves to step directly into his arms, whether that was how he'd meant for the gesture to be taken or not. "You've got perfect taste," she compliments with a crooked grin, slowly easing back from the hug, even as she nuzzled her cheek once against his own.
"We've the entirety of the holidays at our disposal, with only a few evenings to interrupt it." And with the functionality of the Floo Network, the knowledge that they could leave those interruptions as soon as they pleased.
Silas sighs a bit at the brief hug, a pleased sound, although he, too doesn't push for an untoward amount of time with it. He knew not to be greedy. Of course this doesn't mean that his touch doesn't linger just a bit as they slowly separate, perhaps sliding along her waist just a bit longer than necessary. With a wave, he motions to multiple blanket options, and the knapsack, which actually seems to be partly full, "Then we'll have to see what we can do, once time permits."
With just a wee bit of flair, the boy smooths out the blanket, and while waiting to see if Jenny takes the offer, opens the bag, wherein a small wheel of cheese (complete with a small cheese knife), cut sections of bread, apple slices, pears, and even a small, covered bowl of honey is shown, "I thought you might be practicing today, so I figured I'd grab something to snack on."
Something's..changed. Not overtly, not in such a way as can really be seen, but it was. Perhaps it's the way he can feel the subtle ripple of her spine bowing beneath the play of his fingers as they pull along her waist. But it's there. "You planning on spending the night out here?" The question is slipped in, as he smooths out the blanket and with a smile that grows just as easily as the surprise, not to mention hint of color in her cheeks, Jenny claims a seat, rather flush against his side - hip to knee.
"You've…," she begins and then trails off, her bottom lip tucking in between her teeth. The silence lingers. So do Jenny's eyes, shifting from one treat to the next there within the depths of his bag. "You didn't have to," managed at length, but her voice had gone somewhat whispy with it.
Silas looks at the other blankets with a laugh, and while he moves about still to arrange the other blankets… one for their legs to share between them, and one for their shoulders should the chill get too much. "Not so much… but it wouldn't do to make a point of having an enjoyable outing with you if I only ended up getting one or both of us sick."
At her next demurral, he shakes his head, "Yes I did. When you're looking to spend time with someone, you have to think of both parties, not just yourself. That, and," he leans into her for just a moment, "it was made worth all the while by your smile there."
Then, with a wink, he sticks out his tongue and says, "So there."
He's so thoughtful. It was so easy to notice now, much to the point to make her wonder how she'd missed it before. "That's thoughtful," as if he didn't know it; the quiet awe apparent in her tone. She helps where she can, once he's settled. Smoothing at blankets, helping tuck. "You've thought of everything," she murmurs, offering him a smile.
"I just..no one's done something like this for me before. I don't.. it's incredible. Thank you." What more could she saw but that. But there was such warmth in it. Not to mention his pointing out her smile only made it grow, until she tried to hide it, by demuring her head off to the side.
The sight of Silas, of all people sticking out his tongue made her giggle, leaning in to offer a little shoulder-bump. "Those pears look good. You've put a lot of thought into this." Hadn't she said that? Was she babbling?
At her admission, Silas looks askance at Jenny, "I can't understand why not. This… just seems how it should be. If you want to…" responding to the shoulder-bump, he reaches under the blankets to touch her hand for a moment, squeeze it, before taking it back out to snag a bit of apple, "make certain people know how important they are, you have to show it. I know that much."
And then the grin happens again, the not-so-innocent one, as he pops the slice into his mouth, finishes it, and continues, "That, and it means I get to take all of your attention. After this past weekend, I'm feeling somewhat selfish for it." He smiles, "I hope your day went well?"
"If this is how it's supposed to be then I'm clearly going to have to plan something extravagant so you'll know just how important you are to me," Jenny replied, wriggling her nose in his direction. Her fingers brush his, when he reaches; an affectionate squeeze, before she reaches for the honey, uncapping it so that she can dip her pear into it.
"But as for attention, all you have to do is ask, Sy and it's yours. Always." A proper crunch later and Jenny dipped the slice again, this time offering it out in his direction, intent to share if he wanted, while honey threatened to dip down and stain the tops of her fingers. "Uff. My day. Esther's crazy. She was talking last week when she was sad, about just wishing she could take everything back, so when I suggested she apologize last night, it was so that she could do that. But she is so absolutely convienced that we all have to play these roles that she's decided I'm Black's handler and he's a dog? She's the only one around here wandering around like she's mad and I'm afraid someone's going to end up getting hurt. I'm going to report her, the first time she tries."
It ended with a sigh, her head falling to the side so it could rest on his shoulder. "So, that was my day. I hope that yours was better."
When the bite of pear of offered. Silas takes it with as much grace as he can manage, taking the bite directly from her fingers. Thankfully, he's at least gracefully enough that there was never fear of Jenny losing a digit or three.
The mention of Esther makes him frown. "She… I don't understand her, and the more I hear, the more in concerns me. I think you have the right of it… it fits with all I've heard. So, yes." He looks over at her for a moment, actually offering a slight peck to the top of her head as it touches his shoulder. "If you have to, I'll stand behind you. Too much more and no level of house loyalty can allow someone to be so destructive. I just hope it doesn't come to it."
The subject of his day is broached, and he clears his throat. "Well, it's been relatively uneventful… but considering some of the looks I got today, I think we might want to clarify a few things between ourselves. Or more specifically, I need to know: how much does Peyton know about… us?"
As he steals that bite, Jenny's finger playfully bops against the very tip of his nose before she speaks. "It's past house loyalty, she made some mention today about how she should have thrown him off the roof, that could kill someone, Sy. And I know that Alphard might not share the same views as everyone else, but he's not…he deserves better than some girl obsessing with trying to ruin or potientally end his life because she doesn't like his opinions. She said she worries for loosening him on the world? I worry for someone like that." But it's a depressing topic, one that she lets drift away, with the little peck that he offers to the top of her head.
"I wish mind had been une——looks? Why should you be getting looks? And what do you mean, how much does Crabbe know? She knows the same thing as everyone else, which is whatever they've assumed about us, because I haven't said a word." Though the statement came with a sickening twist in her stomach. "…why?"
The play on his nose earns a smile, and although he has thoughts on what should be done about The Hair, he can sense the need to let the topic go, for now. Especially since he can sense the tension coming from his question. He expected it… and so orchestrated this moment to make sure he had as much power to put her at ease as he could. His hand seeks hers again, under the blanket, before he answers.
"I ask because, well… I need to know how to play this. I don't mind a whit her thinking us a couple… with all its myriad flaws, foibles, and silliness. If you take away the labels, in an odd way, we are, since I truly cannot think of anyone who occupies my thoughts more, whose opinion I treasure, or whose company I prefer. But last night… you were speaking to her of a boy, treating you as an object, as if you were only good enough for unseemly positions."
He takes a breath, considering carefully the next part, because he does not want to sound accusatory, or upset, "If she doesn't know about Him, as it should be, what other boy could be treating you that way? I was willing to accept it, no matter what sudden murderous thoughts came to mind in the instant I heard it, because of my promise to you. So I acted the penitent… to allay suspicion… and then you told me it wasn't me, in front of both of them. So I worry I'm not doing my part properly here, to shield you."
Blink blink. With her fingers laced through his there beneath the blanket, Jenny's thumb smooths absently back and forth across the curve of Silas' knuckles as she listens. And it's, easy to see the shift of emotions across her face; the color for his compliments. The way her head bows and she seems to almost turn in on herself, half in pleasure, half from embarassment.
It's when he continues though and she tries to follow the line of reason from murderous to concern. "It's possible to talk about ex's," the girl supplies, slicing through his worry with such simplicity. "Merlin knows I have then. Let them consider it that, if there's a question. Because you're wonderful, Sy. I won't have people thinking things about you that aren't true. I'm sorry I didn't consider it from that angle before I spoke I just…I was frustrated."
Silas tilts his head to the side, "I hadn't considered the 'ex' angle at all, to be honest. I just assumed it was present tense, and so thought to act the part." A chuckle, "Ah well… they will think what they may… but at least we know you are still safe. That's all that matters to me, as far as that is concerned."
For a short time, he lets that fade off into silence, head going up to watch the final fits and starts of the sunset die away… stars starting to peek out from behind the low clouds. I worry about your frustration, though. This weekend was supposed to be special for you. A time to be with the man you love. I…" he pauses only for a moment, "it pains me to think that you didn't have the happy experiences you deserved." He had wondered why she'd had the spare time to spend with him and the others, after all…
Perhaps as a means to allay the negative trend of the conversation, even if he can't wrest it away, Silas' free hand reaches for an apple slice, dips it lightly in the honey, and offers it to her.
"I care about you," Jenny murmured, her voice sincere and heavy with emotion. "I wouldn't talk about you in such a fashion, nor put you in a position that would paint you in such a light. I was careless with my tongue and I shouldn't have been. I'm so very very sorry, Silas." It's easy to see the disappointment in her eyes too, just as its easy enough to realize that the direction its aimed in, is her and not him at all.
The stars flickering into light create a safe place for her eyes, as she finally looks away though and it's there her gaze lingers even as he speaks. At least, until there's that apple slice drawing her attention and when she looks to him, even as she carefully takes that bite, her eyes are warm. Troubled, but warm. And eventually, once she's licked the honey from the corner of her lips, she speaks.
"I never said I loved him." And that admission is so very very quiet. "And I enjoyed being out with you. It wouldn't have felt right, if I hadn't gotten to see you. And…I did see him. I just, didn't want to go back to repeat the process. I just…you..It's your fault." A wry chuckle there, but no apparent explination to go with it either.
"What's done is done," Silas answers, "and I promise you, it'll be given not a moment's further thought now that we've discussed it." After the bite is taken, he takes care of the other half of the slice himself, makes certain his hand is clean, and reaches out for her face with it once she speaks again, to cup her cheek, the pad of his thumb playing across it.
"Don't think that you have to curb your tongue for me. Your distresses and frustrations need to be let out. I made assumptions as well, after all. I wish I had sensed some of that before now, to give you my own ear… I was clueless to your pain."
Then, the revelation, "But… you said you were with… I guess I shouldn't assume." A pause, "My fault? Which?" This he delivers with a smile, open and honest as always.
The girl's eyes closed, when his hand curled in against her cheek; a steadying breath taken as she half nuzzled in against the warmth of his skin. It was easier with her eyes closed. "It didn't seem a fair thing to complain about with you. And I wasn't…well, I wasn't frustrated before, but I tried to explain to him that I was confused and I think it bothered him, but then his answer for it was just…," abruptly Jenny realized that she'd been talking about it and promptly shut her mouth, lashes rising anew.
"I am..with him, but I just…well I kept thinking about you and how it feels when we're together and I don't know. I don't. I guess that's the problem. I used to, it was quidditch and our occasioinal weekend and then…there was you. I'm sorry. I'll figure it out. I won't let it ruin our friendship."
With her eyes closed, Jenny would miss the war of emotions that slip across Silas' face as she speaks… the desire to hear what had been done to frustrate her, to upset her, as well as to fight off the very things that did so to her.
He lets her speak, not interrupting until she speaks of their friendship. At that his smile somehow seems off… not false, but almost bittersweet. "I want to be there for you to complain to, that's the thing, Jen. I want to be there for you. Even if it's about him. Or Peyton. Or Esther. Or Marcus. Or even that demon masquerading as a kitten. Even if it's about your confusion."
The hand on her face now moves, lightly-calloused fingers playing over her skin to cup her chin, that same thumb now running over her lower lip. His voice lowers almost to a whisper, then, as he says, "You aren't alone… not in the least bit. And short of exiling me entirely I don't think you could… ruin this." Because she's not alone in her confusion, even if he doesn't have the other intervening factors.
It's his mention of her feline that has Jenny's eyes focusing in on him once more; a little grin, this one less tempered by sadness twisting her lips up at the corners. "I'd still like to know what you did to charm him into letting you put that ribbon around his neck," the girl murmurs, even as her eyes search his own trying to find the reason for difference in his smile.
It wasn't much, but for all he said, it was that hint of levity that she clung too, buying time while the rest was mulled around in her thoughts. Mulled, even as the stroke of his thumb courted her lip. He'd feel both of them, when she spoke; fluttering against the pad of his finger as she shaped her words. "I don't think there's anything you could do that would make me exhile you, Sy. You're…," she paused there, drawing in a steeling breath.
"You're the one I want see at the end of every class and it's your face that I look for in the great hall at meals. You're the one I…," the girl sighed. "You're the one I need, Sy. You make me better. I can't imagine my life without you in it anymore."
There's a twinkle in Silas' eye as he explains, or at least offers, "It might have something to do with a mixture of fish-flavored treats and short-lived ear-scratchings," he admits, the slight break in the conversation.
Then she speaks again, and his eyes close as she speaks. It's musical, in its own way. He doesn't move a muscle as her words waft over him, instead holding her hand with one hand, and her chin with the other, just listening, smiling.
When she's done, he doesn't verbally respond immediately. There's clearly thought going on behind his eyes even as he reopens them. His hand leaves her face then, to take the one he's already captured, to pull it up to his chest again. "You, Jen… confound me." He smiles, dipping his head, "and I mean this in the best way possible. You've altered my entire view of life… and I don't even know how to even begin to express it. It seems like a lifetime ago when you weren't a part of my life… my every day. You've forced me to reevaluate so much I thought I knew about people. About life. About friendship… and I can't imagine not being able to continue to grow with you."
"I… can't stand to think of you hurt. For being made to feel less than what you are. It sets a flame inside me I don't understand. It makes me…" He shakes his head, "I want to make you better, as you have made me better. And I want to understand what it is you evoke in me… because you make me want to believe in things I've never believed to be real."
And then a laugh, "I don't think that even made sense to me."
"Oh god, Sy, you gave him fish?" Jenny groaned, finding laughter and a smile where both had been somewhat hard to come by before. She held to that feeling, when he caught her hand, even if it meant the loss of warmth there from her chin. It's a different sort of warmth that he offers, clinging to it when he actually uses the word 'confound', because hearing it, her first thought was to worry. Yet as he continues, that worry eases, until there's a wash of color warming her cheeks.
There was awe too, her eyes constantly attempting to make a search of his own. "I didn't..I hadn't realized that I'd had such an impact. You've always just seemed well, kind of perfect to me. You're absolutely unlike anyone else I've ever met and I love that about you, Sy. You notice all sorts of things I don't and you just.." she paused there, with a wry smile.
"If I were anyone else, listening to someone talk like I did just then? I'd mock them for being head over heels for someone. You've forced me to resort to babbling and the words just don't feel like they're enough." And as she spoke, her fingers splayed wide against his chest, thumb brushing against the fabric. Before she seems to remember and the next words are offered low,
"We said no limits…"
Silas' eyes soften, and he nods, "My eyes have been closed a long time, Jen. I'm only now learning to see. And that's because of you. Because you complement me where I lack." And then she speaks again.
"We did," is the response, the only response, Silas is capable of giving to that last statement. And so it is in that moment where calculations simply go out the window… and no matter what assumptions he'd made or set forward, there is only the next step… the need to express something he can't fully understand. To take an action he's always assumed was forced, expected, been part of the facade put on for others, but now is almost a gut imperative. A need.
So it is that without further warning or preamble Silas is moving forward, a slow wave that pushes forth to breach an unstated barrier, and leave him vulnerable in a way he could never accurately describe. Instead, it's a contact of skin to skin. Of noses, his sliding off to the side, then lips pressing. The kiss is unpracticed, unknowing, almost chaste except that it's there, an expression.
"I don't see it," Jenny murmured and the truth was, she didn't. He always seemed so…perfect to her. But maybe that was part of it, being blind to flaws? She was certainly blind to his.
But not that change, not the way he moved. That, that she noticed. That was easier to understand, for all that it was different and on instinct, she'd say it was wrong. It should be wrong. It probably was, save for the fact that she'd been thinking about it for the past week.
So her breath spills warm against the curve of his cheek as their noses pass and her lips brush against his in a flutter soft as a butterfly's wings. Chaste, where he was chaste and content to be no more than that. Perhaps he could feel her smile though, the way it shaped her lips there against his own. Hear the little coo that accented the softness of her sigh.
Jenny lingered, before drawing away once more with the light brush of her nose against his and the caress of her cheek to his own, before she tucked her head in against his shoulder and snuggled in close. Nary a word to break the silence.
His own breath shuddered as the simple kiss drew to a close. Even though all of her reactions told Silas that he at least hadn't screwed things up horridly, that fear lingered. The shudder remained, translating to his body unconsciously, and the two hands that held hers still to his chest now seemed to cling.
This was unfamiliar territory. Unknown. The results even more so, and for a boy so certain of reality, his place in it, and what was ultimately real, he had in a single action flipped much of it on its head. Control was utterly lost. A part of him was urging himself to apologize, to make amends. The part mostly winning out kept him quiet, the silence unbroken.
Instead, he just allows himself to soak in the closeness. To keep her near… to ensure he hadn't just driven her away.
"Tomorrow," Jenny murmurs, her fingers still brushing softly against his chest from where he had captured her hands, "Come flying with me in the morning? Early. Before everyone's up, before the sun rises. We've watched it set," there's a content tone to her voice, her own body by contrast remarkably free of absolutely any tension at all. The girl radiating happiness much in the way her cat did, sans the purr.
"I'd like you to watch it rise with me. To see the way the frost glitters like so many diamonds beneath the first rays, the way the world brightens as the fog rises. It's my favorite part of the day. I'd like…," another little nuzzle was given; this time the tip of her nose tracing in against his jawline, "I'd like to share it with you."
"Tomorrow," Silas repeats… the sound of her voice and the fact that she hasn't moved an inch other than to continue to show affection helps bleed away some of his own tension, some of it even being released in an audible sigh.
"I'll be there," on a borrowed broom, but he'd be there. "Just… promise not to laugh too much." He moves his head just slightly with her own movement, "I… am rubbish in the air. But I'll be there, for you."
And he means it.
"Then you can fly with me," Jenny replies, because that was the easiest thing in the world to solve. "And you'll love it. I promise I'll never let you fall."