| Details for Arranged Definitions |
| Summary: | Anew NPC/Wrinkle to Silas' life and plans comes to the fore, and Morgana comes to the rescue, to discuss friendship, love, and parental loyalty. |
| Date: | 17 December, 1938 |
| Location: | Classroom 2, Hogwarts |
| Related: | - |
| Characters |
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This classroom appears to be currently out-of-use. More often than not, though, the area proves to be an out of the way gathering place for groups that might disturb the sanctity of the library. Desks here are rarely in any kind of uniform order, having usually been rearranged by the last group to occupy the premesis. Random copies of old and perhaps out-of-date textbooks are stacked haphazardly on the shelves around the room. Littered here and there are also old work books, charts, the occasional love note hidden here in secret and even a few Marvin the Mad Muggle comics thrown in for amusements sake.
Rumors. They flit about, sometimes almost absurdly. Sometimes, there's a pattern, especially when it's in the subject of whom has hooked up with whom, or the other party heartbroken over it. Of course, rumors of a fourth year Hufflepuff furious over recent rumors might have hit a certain head girl's ears… as well as a hushed but rather heated discussion between Silas and said girl outside the library, with the younger student tromping off in a huff after.
Between that, and all the other drama of the past few weeks, Silas was spotted by a few first years slipping into the unused classroom. No bags. No homework. Just himself. Concern about the Slytherin boy who had made a point to be kind to them caused them to speak as well, and who knows? The right ears might have heard it.
Regardless, Silas sits alone in a corner of the classroom, a blanket spread out below him to cut out some of the cold of the stone floor. His eyes are closed, his breathing even, as he simply tries to meditate the stress away.
Rumors are a nasty thing, and they're nearly impossible to keep away. Recently Morgana has been allegedly caught snogging with Medsua after a snowball fight. There were at least a few younger Slytherin boys who might not have been able to shut up about it. Of course, Morgana rarely responds to those rumors.
Though one does have her slightly concerned, and when she hears that Silas might be brooding off somewhere in an empty classroom, she figures she should at least check on him. Slipping into the classroom, she'll lightly knock on the door before she closes it behind her. "Is court in session?" She asks.
The opening of the door causes an immediate tension in Silas, one that disappears almost immediately upon recognition of the voice. A smile even crosses his face as he opens his eyes to look at her, and waves for her to enter, "Not yet… I've not even been confirmed as successor to the throne yet, so I can only play pretend." A twinkle plays in his eyes as he continues, "But please, for the love of all, come in and close the door before someone else notices I'm here…"
Morgana turns around to secure that the door is closed, and even lifts her wand to lock it behind her. She is the Head Girl after all, and no one can snip at her for using magic. "You're just in the running then? Intriguing." She doesn't get involved in Slytherin politics after all, she lets Medusa handle that. Walking over to the blanket, she'll sink down on the floor and sit as proper as she can before she tilts her head at him. "So, who are you hiding from?"
Silas offers a slight chuckle, and a nod. "She said I'm one of her choices… perhaps top choice… but one never counts their gryphons before they're hatched." As she sits down and asks her question, he closes his eyes. "My parents? Their meddling? Rowena Urquart?" The aforementioned Hufflepuff. "News of my recent… attachment… hit their, and her, ears. The resultant reactions have not been positive. I should have expected as much."
"No, that isn't wise at all." Morgana says as she leans against the wall for support. Hearing of his dilemma she'll frown just a touch and nod her head. "It's not unexpected. I hear that parents are usually critical of who their offspring spend their time with. However I thought that Solomon was a Pure-Blood, surely they don't object to that?"
"You don't know my parents," is Silas' response to that. "So very little actual interaction in my life, other than the occasional required activity… and the teaching of their standards… but then this." He shakes his head, "It's not done anymore, so they…" another shake of his head. "They made promises to her parents. Years ago. Regarding me. Since I've never made a move to actually pursue any such thing on my own, they've kept quiet. But now that I have… they're making their moves. Which includes talking to her family."
He grunts, "Rowena comes from better money. It's as simple as that." And that likely explains just what sort of promises it entails.
"No, I don't know them. Though, I also did not have a lot of interaction with my actual parents, my Grandparents were always present in my life. Than again, I'm a bastard, and no one really has high expectations for any marriage I might end up in." Frowning though, she'll reach over and gently touch his arm. "I'm sorry you're going to be put through that. Just because your parents made promises doesn't mean you have to keep them." However, even she knows it's not that easy.
"What you could do." Morgana suggests. "Is write to your parents and inform them that this is just a.. dalliance. Something to pass the time until you are ready to be wed. Make it clear that you've made no promises to this girl." She'll smirk lightly before shrugging. "They don't need to know that it isn't true."
With another shake of his head, "I couldn't say that. Even to mollify my parents. It would be a lie… at least the dalliance part. And it would be hurtful to someone important to me, were she to hear it."
Sighing, he adds, "Recall I mentioned that my parents told me I should find a partner, and forget love, since it was a province for fools. They… always had a choice in mind for me. And pushed toward it. I never truly pushed back… until now. Until my outlook was changed." He looks pointedly at Morgana there, "I think you're partly to blame for that, by the by. You put in my head the thought of experimentation, and challenges and the like. You could have at least have had the good sense to be wrong." This offered with a slight smile.
"Well obviously you would inform her of such things. Do you believe this relationship to be more than just a passing fancy then?" Morgana asks, tilting her head just a bit. "What I think you need show your parents that while you are not them, you are capable of making good decisions. I mean, it's not like you've chosen to court a muggle-born, right?" When he puts the blame on her, she'll hold her hands up in the air. "Of course I wasn't wrong, I'm a Ravenclaw." She might even wink at that. "However, I just wanted to make sure you were seeing this from all directions, before you started passing judgments on the rest of us. Granted, I'm probably the worse person to get this information from."
The young man nods, actually rubbing at his eyes with his hands. "It's definitely more. I don't know what it is. It's complicated, to be certain, but that's to be expected." Far more complicated than he'd like… but he signed up for that.
"I assure you, of course, that there is nothing a Head Girl would need to worry about." There's a grin at that. "But… I'm finding my earlier… judgments of others was unfair. I never conceived of a situation where I would let the opinion of a single person carry so much weight for me." He looks back at Morgana then, frowning, "How do you handle it? Or anyone for that matter? The vulnerability. The connection. Being beholden to someone else?"
"How complicated is it?" Morgana asks, sounding as if she understands the word far more than she likes to. Seeing his frown and hearing his question she'll sigh. "How do I handle it? Not well honestly." She says with a very faint smile. "Feeling that connection, and trusting someone enough to be vulnerable around them is amazing. Just the thought of someone else having your back, to help carry your burdens is comforting." There is a twinge of pain in her voice as she speaks. "Until you realize that you've allowed yourself to feel such things for someone who does not feel the same back. The pain that follows is excruciating, and it is a wound that takes a very long time to heal. It makes you question whether or not you should ever allow someone that close again." Turning her face away from him, she'll idly pick at a non existent piece of fuzz off of her skirt.
Silas chuckles, "Far, far more complicated than it should be… although I walked into that part of things with what I thought was open eyes. Before I realized just how deep I could fall into them." For whatever reason, though, he doesn't elaborate further… and instead listens.
There's one thing Silas has always believed, and it's been quite proven by his recent experiences, and that's the power of touch. The simplicity and magnitude of such a thing. And so its with this that he reaches out, placing just a few fingers on the outside of Morgana's knee. "I think I understand. I've not felt it… but, I can imagine, if for any reason I thought that she… didn't feel the same about me. Us. Our friendship… a part of me I never recognized or knew about would die. The very thought of it has actually kept me awake at times. To have felt it… I'm sorry, Morgana. I couldn't wish that on anyone."
This is a boy who has changed significantly over the past four weeks. That much is certain. The kind of change that comes with a significant alteration… or at least expansion… in worldview.
"That sounds like there is more of a story behind it." However, when he reaches out to touch her Morgana will raise her brows just a bit. She isn't known to be a touchy person, so it says something when she reaches out to lightly touch his fingers. "It's never a pleasant feeling to realize that the person you've been kissing was always thinking of someone else's lips." Clearing her throat, she'll force a smile and shake her head. "But we're not here to talk about me after all. I'm here to listen."
Oh wow. Did that hit a mark? Yes. It definitely hit a mark. Silas can't help the natural reaction, to look away for the moment. He recovers quickly enough, though. "And yet again you give me something to think about" Taking back his hand, Silas shakes his head once more, "You really need to stop that. You might gain the reputation of being older and wiser, and I really can't have that at all. But indeed… that is something to think about."
Such as being the one who causes someone else that pain. He looks back at Morgana, though, and smiles wide. "You've already done so. And I appreciate that you came to look for me. That's… not something I'm used to." He grins. "Funny thing, that… you start letting people in, and they actually care what happens to you. Would have never expected that."
Morgana seeing his reaction, she frowns. Not liking the idea that it is something he has to think about. "Well, I am older than you are, so maybe that does make me just a bit wiser. Let me know where your thoughts lead you, I'd love to hear your insight." There is a hint of a smile on her lips before she nods her head. "It's strange to think you're not alone in this world, isn't it? Embrace the feeling but, be careful with who you let in. Not everyone is as open and honest as I am."
Silas nods in agreement, although he counters quickly, "In the same token… I think being too careful may rob us of something so important. So integral to living. I'm in the odd position of knowing what it was to avoid such things. Looking back at the last few years… there's so much I've missed out on. There might have been heartbreak in there… but there's so much in between I never got to experience."
He coughs, lightly, before continuing, "It clearly hurt you, but even you have mentioned those memories. Good memories, even if poisoned by later betrayal. Do they leave no good taste for you, though? A hope to one day have the same again?"
"I had too much else on my plate at the time when I pulled away from everyone else. I don't know if I could have handled relationships and other things like that at the time. At least now you know, and you're open to those experiences." However his other words do cause Morgana to nod slowly. "I know it's foolish not to hope, and not to think that I won't feel it again. I do have good memories, and sometimes I still allow myself to feel those feelings once again. I just need to be careful who I place that hope with." She says with a sad smile.
"I can imagine," Silas offers, "Being head girl… having to not only be at least perceptively a paragon of virtue while at the same time being fair when dealing with others… it couldn't be easy. I think, though… there can be 'too careful'. Some abandon is necessary, I think. It's true with every other aspect of life."
He smiles widely, then, "I will say this… as much as the sappy, public romantic garbage I've seen still seems false to me, I've learned one thing. Love isn't romance, and that's where I've always been confused and mistaken. It's friendship. Trust. Vulnerability. And it can exist with partners as much as it can with allies. And it's worth risking." He points at her, "As is hope."
"It is odd to have all eyes on me, and everything I do. I've had to be a lot more friendly than I really wanted to be, but it's paying off." Morgana says, lightly gesturing to Silas. "I think right now I need to be too careful. I find that I can fall easier than I expected, and for the wrong reasons. If I were smart and taking my own advice, I'd leave romance for when school lets out." Hearing his other declaration she smiles. "Than I suppose I have gotten my point across to you. Apparently I am better at this than I thought."
Laughing at that, Silas finally stands, nodding, offering a hand to Morgana to help her up as well. "So eschew romance. Just don't eschew love. And clearly I don't mean the sloppy, brain-killing kind. In other words, take your own advise, except when you should be ignoring it." Another grin. "And thank you… I think I'm just about ready to face them again…"
Morgana takes his hand and gets to her feet, smoothing down her skirt as she stands. "Now who is the wise one?" She teases nodding her head at his words. "Good, just remember to breathe, and I am sure you'll do just fine. Now, get back to your common room before I have scold you for being out after curfew."