| Details for What Now? |
| Summary: | In the wake of their kiss, Marcus and Jenny struggle with how to deal with the hurt caused to the people they care about and also, what they're going to do with themselves. |
| Date: | 1939-01-13 |
| Location: | Slytherin Common Room |
| Related: | Imperfectly Perfect |
| Characters |
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Monday's were…well, Mondays. Monday's were Monday's that also brought with it four classes with Silas and she was sure that the stinging in her hand from Care of Magical Creatures was probably not going to go away for a while. Couple it with the fact that, for once she'd slept like the absolute dead and all in all, it was chalking up to be a pretty decent day. The kind of day that, also just, required one to absolutely positively not think about anything that was not right in front of you or from class. And that was exactly what Jenny'd done.
Focus on the books that were sort of propped up on her lap, from where she was settled in a chair; legs draped against one arm of her chair, back in against the other side. Herbolgy book on her thighs. Jenny might knock school, but…she was carrying four NEWTs and three electives, which…might have actually surprised most of those who knew her.
"You've moved on to a chair, I see," the voice is Marcus, who enters the common room quietly. He flashes a grin at the girl and plops down on the arm of her chair. "And studying too," he silently whistles, impressed.
There is a pause then, a pause where all he does is smile. Smile really like he doesn't smile for anyone else. "So, what's the subject?" He asks, nodding toward the books. "Or are you studying all the subjects?"
Since he seems intent on sitting on a chair that she's just absolutely sprawled over, something has to move. It's going to be her head, off the arm that it was laying in against, or her legs, off the arm that they were draped over and whichever the boy taps will be what she re-arranges.
"Hey I study. I don't…," dammit, his smile was contagious and drew out her own, for all that she at least tried to temper it by catching her bottom lip between her teeth. "I study." She finishes in the end, wriggling her nose and then, dipping her head towards the book on her thighs. "Herbology, today as happens."
Marcus can't help but make a bit of a face. "Not my favorite subject," he says. "In fact, one of my least favorite subjects," he muses, with a bit of a shrug. He pokespokespokes at those legs, until he has a place to rest at. He looks at the arm of the chair, then at Jenny.
"We could just move to a couch," he suggest, with a shrug. "Although I'm fine sitting up here, I bet sitting on armchairs is going to be all the rage." He smirks at this.
"What, you don't like playing in the dirt? I thought you were all about -fun-, Marcus," Jenny teased; though she did lift her legs to make room for him to sit. Mind, sitting was just going to find her legs over his lap but…
"You look like arm candy, on an arm chair, Marcus. Everyone likes arm candy, but if you're going to make me move, just because you aren't comfortable," and he didn't like the view from above, with her pretty much on her back and her legs on him and being well, below her skirt line… "Then, I guess I could get my arse up."
"Oh I love playing in the dirt," Marcus quips back. "And the snow," he adds, after a moment of thought arching a brow in her direction. "But I'm not sure I'd call Herbology playing, exactly," he shakes his head.
"Oh I see, is that what I am to you now, arm candy," he nods a couple of times. "Nah, stay there," he says, glancing in her direction. "What a foot massage with your candy?"
"I do too! And it's fun. Of course, the fact that I find it -fun- may be part of why my grade is currently less than stellar but you know, I don't see the point in doing something that I don't enjoy. Maybe I should stop playing in class so much." She muses, before playfully sticking out her tongue in his direction.
"'course, you were always just arm candy. Didn't anybody tell you I like the pretty boys?" Wink. But when he suggested a foot massage, one slender brow arched as she studied him to see if he were serious. "Really? You must be wanting something," she teased but did in fact, lift her legs enough to start kicking off her boots.
Marcus laughs when she sticks out her tongue, and reaches out to try and pinch it with his fingers. There it is, genuine laughter. Of course, he turns it into an amused grin almost immediately. "Maybe you should tutor me, and teach me a trick or two about how to play in the dirt right." There's the challenge.
"Wanting something? Nah, I'm just in a good mood," he says and reaches out to help her take the boots off. Taking a foot in his hand, he starts his work on it, firmly rubbing at the sides of it first.
"The blind leading the blind, huh?" Jenny chuckles, eyes bright and smile easy. A playful nip towards his fingers when they chase her tongue. "I'm not so sure that'd be saf but…it should be fun, at least. We can try it." Challenge accepted, of course.
"Mmmm." Boot free, Marcus is subject to rainbow colored toesocks. But at least the girl's feet don't stink. "Wow. That feels so nice. If you in a good mood means I get spoiled, then, I'm just going to have to figure out how to keep you there all the time." Wink.
Marcus chuckles and arches a brow at Jenny. "I don't think that will be too hard for you, do you?" He rolls his thumbs against the ball of her foot, working his way up to her toes. Playfully, he flicks at each toe with his fingers. As the massage continues, though, he grows a little thoughtful.
"I think… last night is the best I've slept in months," he offers quietly. And then his eyes look for hers, and when he finds them, the exchange is silent, but the words might have as well been spoken. Of course, the silent exchange is followed with a chuckle, as he actually sniffs at her foot.
"It doesn't smell, I'm impressed, Solomon."
What were words? With the way his thumbs pressed in against the ball of her foot, Jenny almost turned into a puddle right then and there. Boneless, limp, without life. "Huhmmfff. ..wha?" Blink, blink; toes wriggling when he pinched so that she squirmed as a result.
"I…well I was thinking the same thing, actually. I guess that's what spending a day out in the cold gets us. Decent sleep." Yet she met his gaze without issue and again, that silly little smile threatened to wreck the general maturity of her expression and she tried to hide it, turning her head in against her shoulder.
He made it easier though, with his humor. "I should kick you off the chair! Of course my foot doesn't smell." But her leg lefted and the one he wasn't rubbing on pushed playfully at his thigh, threatening with no intention for follow-through.
What were words indeed. Marcus keeps working at her foot as her gets her attention again, his fingers now working the underfoot with slow circles. After some more rubbing, he actually moves to her other foot.
"Right, decent sleep. Very decent sleep. And, decent dreams, very, very decent dreams," he grins at this. "And you wouldn't dare kick me off this chair, who would give you this awesome foot massage then, hmm?"
It was a trap! While the boy's magic hands lulled her into a state of compliance, Jenny's leg draped once more at ease across Marcus' thighs and she was content to just, be as absolutely limp as possible. Apparently, this enabled the sneak attack. Because when he started talking again, color climbed her cheeks until it'd gone so high her ears had been included.
"I just might if you keep that up!" She threatened, though it was easy to pin down just what it was she was complaining about, even if it wasn't said. "But..I'm glad that you had pleasant dreams."
"Hey, if you want me to stop, I'll stop," Marcus tells her, amused and now sticks his tongue out at her. "Just say the word, and I'll shut up, say nothing else, and just continue to pleasure your non-stinky feet," he teases her. And then he waits, for her word. He waits and waits, just as he continues working his magic on that foot.
"I… I'm not sure if when and how you wanted to talk about things. But, any plans here? Did you want to talk about things?"
Of course, the smartass knew there wouldn't be a word and as such, Jenny held herself mum until she deemed that it was safe to talk again, because he was talking and he wouldn't be if that weren't the case. "Well they don't stink," she touched on his earlier comment first, before the other one sort of..
"And say what, exactly?" She'd actually closed the book for it and more, seemed to be adjusting herself to sit up properly, provided he lets her go of course.
There's a brief glance around, to make sure there isn't anyone in the immediate vicinity before Marcus leans over and sniffs at her foot again, this time lingering there for just a moment, before his attention turns to Jenny.
For a moment, it isn't clear if he's going to let her go, but he does and he leans back and shrugs. "I guess you're right," he replies. "I think… we sort of said most of what there is to say." A pause. "I figured I'd ask, just in case."
"Marcuuuuus," Jenny whined, when he had to go teasing her about her foot again, a little tug given to her foot though she didn't fight all that hard to reclaim it. And then she was a little bit slower about straightening herself out on the opposite chair arm.
"I..well I just, I mean…I don't…know." Which really wasn't all that helpful, was it? "I'm not sorry. But even though it feels like the whole world's sort of, redone itself, has it?"
"Jeeeeennny," Marcus mock-whines at her, smirking. But as the conversation begins, he grows a little more serious and nods. "Well… I'd say so. I'm far from sorry, Jen," he tells her earnestly. "There'll be no apology from me, and no treating you any different," he grins a little at this. "Well, that's not completely true. I guess there might be some differences," he purses his lips.
"But… I'd like to think in a good way. Still, I don't want you to feel that you owe me anything," he tells her. He offers a wry smile. "Because you don't. I suppose, we both have some thinking to do… decisions to make."
That helped. Hearing that he wasn't sorry, that courted that silly smile back into place while she watched him, her elbows settled against the top of her knees. But she was watching his face too, his eyes and occasionally his lips, just to see if he started biting it again out of the blue. "I didn't want an apology." Incase it needed pointing out.
But.."Owe you anything? Marcus why would I think I owe you anything?" That one caught her off guard, her head tilting to the side while those blond locks tumbled down to cascade against her cheek. "And since when did you become so bloody fidgety?"
Her smile causes Marcus to smile. And he does bit that lower lip, as part of a facial gesture to shows he's trying to figure out what to say next. "Good, because you're not getting it," he grins at this.
"Because I'm asshole. I know, I know. I'm not making any sense," he waves a hand in dismissal and stares at his hand, hands that stop fidgeting. He looks at them, and then at her. "Since I want to again, what we did yesterday," he tells her point blank. "And I kind of want to do it, over and over again," he admits, nodding and narrowing his eyes as he waits for her reaction.
"Well good, because I didn't want it." Duh. Silly boy. Of course, him biting his lip just sort of…reminds her of the day before and as a result, she's tugging on the hem of her skirt because now she's not sure where to put her blasted hands.
"You're not an asshole, Marcus. At all. But..you aren't making a lot of sen—-oh well, then he was. Then he was making a lot of sense. Too much sense. So do I was warring on her tongue with, "But what about Peyton?" And it was the latter that won out. And somehow, that managed to turn her moon just a little, dampening down that smile. "And I mean…I do too. Sort of…a lot, actually." Except it didn't feel dirty, thinking about it with him, or cheap and she certainly didn't want anything rushed and that was the weirdest thing about all of it.
"Good, because I wasn't going to give it," Marcus' reply is playful, keeping up with their little game, even as they talk of more serious things. Eyes follow the way she tugs at the hem of her skirt.
"I am. I'm also selfish as it gets," he says. And then she asks the question, the question that causes him to pause, and take a deep breath. "I… I care about Pey," he admits. "Like I said, we have some thinking to do. But… I'm not her knight in shining armor. I can't change for her. I won't change for her. And she," he offers a wry smile. "She'll want just that."
He looks at her evenly. "You're not looking for a knight in shining armor. You're not looking for a protector or a savior, you do all sorts of ass kicking on your own. I'll always be there to catch you, not because I want to save you. But because that's what mates do." He grins.
"Sort of a lot, huh?" He nods. "Sort of a lot too."
"I don't think you're selfish either," Jenny remarked, though she stopped fidgeting with her skirt when she realized that he was watching her. Instead she almost stubbornly put her hands flat in her lap and refused to move them at all.
It was…"It's weird, Marcus," She began, carefully choosing her words. "I mean…you keep saying that you're not a knight in shining armor but every time I'm down, you're there to save me from myself and every time I fall, you're there to catch me and help me up and even when I'm feeling sort of caged and trapped and miserable…you're..well, you were there and made the world feel good again. So I might…have sort of biased feelings about what you think you aren't. Because to me you sort of…are." And well, that was rather awkward to put into light, even if he was sitting there saying she wasn't looking for one. It was true. She hadn't been and honestly, still wasn't.
"But if you want to consider that a mate thing then, I can deal with that." She winked. But her tongue suggested he was just a little bit of a liar.
"And yes, sort of a lot. Beat me for it. I got bored in potions."
"I don't want to be just your mate," Marcus blurts out, blinking at his admission. But that's him, blunt to a fault. He considers for just one moment, before he looks over at Jenny, eyes finding hers.
"I don't want to be just your mate," he repeats, letting the weight of those words carry the, to her. He reaches then, for her hands. Hands that were fidgeting just like his was. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I am your knight in shining armor. Or maybe… Maybe I actually like being there for you." He flashes a grin. "See, selfish," he teases, and slowly lets go of her hands, after gently squeezing.
Well, that was just…what? Jenny blinked. Blinked again and Marcus would have no trouble finding her eyes because she just, stared. Was still staring can't seem to stop. In fact, he has to say it twice before she can manage to process beyond him saying it the first time.
"Er…well..what…what do you want to be? I mean, you just said you care about Pey. I care about her too, like I really don't have that many female friends and Silas..What is it you want, Marcus?" Stop thinking about the bigger picture, stop thinking about Peyton and Silas and the ripple effect, Jenny, just stop. And when she finally managed that, it was a little easier to breath again. Even if she hadn't, entirely, let go of his hands even as he tried to pull away.
Silas, Peyton. Bringing up their names causes Marcus to frown. Still, as her hands linger on him, he lets them be right where they are. He lets them be right where they belong. "I think you know the answer to that question," he then says, eyes on hers. Taking her hands then, he brings them to his lips.
He gently kisses them. "What I want to be, is the man you wake up, wanting to kiss, every single day." There, he said it. "I care about Peyton, I don't think that will ever change. But I… don't love Peyton," the admission causes him to wince.
"I just don't. She's obviously not interested, not really. And I… well, I… I'm not the type to just sit and wait. Not when I find something that just feels right." He purses his lips and exhales. "But you do have Silas, so I get it," he starts taking his hands away. "I wish I could say I care about how he feels, but I don't," he shakes his head. "See? Selfish. That said, I care that you have feelings for him. And I don't want to cause you, difficulties."
Knowing and hearing were two different things, however and maybe…maybe Jenny just wanted to see if he could say it and if he could say it, if she could hear it. Maybe she wanted to make sure that her world didn't break down because she was flaking through guys again. There's a word for that. It's not a nice one but in the back of her mind, she kind of presumes that it applies.
Some of the tension eased though, with his kisses and her smile turned just about as soft as it could possibly ever be at his words. That was…well, it was perfect. It was sweet without being over the top or intense in the kind of way that made her way to bolt in the opposite direction. "It does feel right, doesn't it?" There's no small amount of marvel in that question and some of it shows on her face.
"But you know I'm broken, right? Completely and utterly damaged. I'm a flake. And I love Silas. He's a sweet absolutely charming boy and I hate the thought of hurting of him but I'm selfish too. And the world didn't stop when I kissed him and I'm not in love with him and it doesn't…it doesn't feel like it does when I'm with you." And that was so incredibly hard to say.
"It does feel right," Marcus quietly says. He smirks at her words, shaking his head. "What do you think I am? My brother exists to remind me, that he has the feelings. That I don't care about anyone, but me," he shrugs. "I used to think he was right and I didn't make any excuses for it. And then, I met you. You, who are kind to me, treat me with respect, joke around with me." He smiles a real smile. "You. There is you," as he says this, he reaches up, to gently brush a few hair strands from Jenny's face, to gently caress her cheek when he's done.
"I can't tell you what to do about this one, Jen. But if you give me a chance? If you choose me, I promise to try and make that world stop every single time we kiss."
And just like that, Marcus stole her breath away, so that his fingers brushed against her cheek she was smiling; a hand reaching up to settle against his own. "Thank you. Thank you for not telling me what to do or how I needed to do it. Thank you for just…being you," Jenny smiled and this time, turned her head to the side so that she could press a kiss in against his palm.
"But you have to know there is no choice, Marcus. They can add slut to the list of my crimes and heartbreaker along with it but…there is no choice. There's just..you."
It was aftward that she sighed. "I just…I don't know how to tell him."
"I can be there if you want me to, or I can go hide in a hole somewhere, while you take care of things," Marcus offers. "You don't have to face this alone, but if you must, I'll just wait for you, wherever you want me to. Only him, she had said there's only him. He smiles as slowly those words fill his body, and before he knows what he's doing, he's leaning toward her.
So that their lips meet. Briefly, a stolen moment in a very public place.
"I sort of do, don't you think? I mean…you didn't…although he did just offer to be your friend the other day." Wasn't this just a wonderful ball of fun! "I don't know," it was almost whined. "I don't. I didn't have to really do it quite like this the fir—," brief. It really should have been brief. If Jenny had better control of herself, it probably would have been or this entire situation would never have happened at all but..she doesn't.
So brief became the gentle sensation of her leaning into it, her nose brushing in against the curve of his cheek for a kiss that was sweet, yes and tender but…not brief.
Brief. Who needs brief? Not this guy. Because Marcus makes no attempt to end the moment prematurely, no, if anything he helps extend it, with the way his hand snakes around the back of Jenny's neck. He abashedly kisses her, and makes no apology either through words or gesture to her, or anyone that might walk in on them.
"I know," he says. Silas had offered to be his friend, and this causes him to wince. "I know," he repeats. "But I warned him. It's not easy to be my friend," he then says.
Gently his finger touches her lips. "Let me know what you want to do, or what you want us to do," he looks at the dormitory. "I should get going. Do some of this studying thing. Because if I don't go now, I'll spend the rest of the night, holding you in my arms, as I kiss our worries away."
It's the way he touches her, perhaps or simply the way he seems to draw her in or maybe it's just..everything and those pieces that make Marcus Marcus and thus, perfect but Jenny melts into that kiss. It's easy to feel, to taste. It's in the way he can feel her smiling through it and the soft sound of a sigh that was as dreamy as it may be fair to say love struck.
It's in the weay she kisses him back, slow and tender. The way her hands settle on his chest fingers splayed wide. The way she actually pays attention to just how his heart beats, too. In all the little things.
"I find it the easiest thing in the world," the words were dazed almost and a little tender. Like the way she kissed the tip of his finger when it brushed her lips.
"I want us to be happy, Marmar. And you know what," her smile was lazy then, sweet and just a little drunk all at once. "We will be."
"You're damned right will be," Marcus says, with all the confidence in the world. This after having been lost in her, the way her lips taste, the way she reacts to his touch. The way his heart beats, when she touches his chest.
He smiles at her, like he never smiles at anyone else, but the smile is replaced by one of his trademarked grins.
With a final peck to her lips, he stands up. "I'll catch you later, Jenny, just like always," he winks and with it, he turns around to go into the dormitory.