(1939-01-25) Chocolate Frogs and Jelly Beans
Details for Chocolate Frogs and Jelly Beans
Summary: Esther confides in Lucretia what the source of her anxiety is, and Lucretia offers her own view of how the other girl might be feeling.
Date: 1939-01-25
Location: Slytherin Common Room
Related: This log immediately follows on from Gigantic Backbirths

The Slytherin commons room is a low-ceilinged, dungeon-like affair illuminated during the day by a multitude of greenish lamps and a roaring fire which also works to partially ward of the perpetual chill of the dungeons. The common room is filled with low-backed, black and dark green leather sofas and armchairs accented with buttons that create dimples deep in the upholstery. For the decorative carvings of the dark wood cupboards, the columns, the mantelpiece, and other architectural details of the room run strongly towards snakes and skulls motif. All these details combine to create a quite grand atmosphere with a touch of spooky and cold.
Day or night the enchanted windows are filled with an eerie green glow from the water on the other side. Occasionally the Giant Squid and other residents of the Black Lake will swim by the portals. Over all the common room has a sunken ship feel, though is oddly enough also gives a strange cozy sense as well.

The weirdest part of all of this is exactly how little Slytherin's seem to care about this particular rumour. Stepping through the painting is like taking a breath of fresh air, forgetting about lumbering idiot who knocked her down and instead about the eyoung woman who sshe brought here. "So, who's making?" Esther teases. Hot Cocoa, of course.

Lucretia slips her arm from Esther's and pushes her towards one of the couches. "I'll make it. You should sit down as you look a little wobbly still." A critical glance is cast over the older girl as she goes to make the cocoa and she adds after a moment, "What's wrong Esther? You're really not yourself and its so horrible to see."

"Everything." Esther answers in one word that is just full of terrible, hopeless finality. She settles into a couch with a sigh that speaks volumes, placing her precious bag just infront of it. "'m becoming convinced that Myrus knows what's going on. Before I've even had a chance to talk to him myself." Although she's been trying to get to him for near on a week now to settle things, in her preferred way. "I don't /want/ this." She whines, for lack of a better word.

"You don't want what?" Lucretia asks, slipping a chocolate stick into both mugs of cocoa before dusting the top with a little extra powder. She carries them back and settles into the cushions beside Esther. "I sort of feel like somethings going on that I have no idea about. Like I'm wading through mud whilst everyone else has already climbed out of the puddle. What's going on that Myrus might or might not know about?" Levering her shoes off, she tucks her feet up under her rump and settles her mug in her lap, blowing across the top of it as she talks with the older girl.

"Conflict." Esther answers simply, reaching up to take the cocoa in both hands, doing more or less the same thing as Lucretia. "… I /may/ have kissed Zayn the other day." She blushes, bright red. Looking a little ashamed. "It… It was a beautiful moment, and I became completely lost in it." A pause, and a sip of her drink. "And now… Now I've got to tell him that I don't think we should be together anymore, and that's just.. Bad news, all over."

Lucretia hesitates, her eyes fixed upon her drink. There's a small blowing out of her breath before she speaks, not looking at Esther. "But I thought that you loved Myrus," she says, "What changed?" The confusion that the younger girl feels shows in the quietness in her voice, in the way she sits perfectly still and in the way that she continues to look at her cocoa. "Maybe you should go and look for Myrus and not stop looking until you find him. He must be feeling just as terrible as you do right now. Perhaps worse."

"I did. I do." Esther admits, for her cousin. "But it's more complicated than that. I didn't know that my feelings for Myrus were more complicated than romance. I realiseed that I was in a relationship with him because it made him happy, far more'n me." Her finger slowly strokes the rim of her glass. "Zayn's… Different. Zayn makes me feel, unique, comfortable. Safe." In the arms of a pacifist? Discussing these things with a young woman makes her blush. "Remember this. A relationship should be about both people's happiness.

Lucretia takes a small sip of her cocoa, letting it warm her mouth before swallowing it down. She listens to Esther and then offers her own opinion. "Its a little like sweets, I think. For instance, I like chocolate frogs. I mean I really like them. I know that when I eat a chocolate frog that it will taste nice and be just what I want. Sometimes though, chocolate frogs are just a little boring. I look at a chocolate frog, and all I want is a handful of Every Flavour Jelly Beans. Jelly beans are exciting. You never know what you're going to get when you put one in your mouth. So maybe Myrus is your chocolate frog and Zayn is your jelly bean. Zayn is excitement and Myrus is reliability. Reliability isn't a bad thing and excitement doesn't always last."

Esther shakes her head. "It's… Not entirely unlike that. Myrus is… He'll do anything I ask of him. And he needs me, far more'n I need him." Which doesn't make her look good at all. "I felt like I was replacing my family with him. My family, and J—" She catches herself. Gentle breath. "And my ex. And he was… So good for it. I love him, he was a good kisser… And even when Zayn first made his attention known, I turned him away, because of Myrus." She shakes her head again, sadly. "… Being with Myrus allowed me to be, and do, anything, without consequence. And I would have… I'm sorry, Lucretia, you don't need to hear this."

"I'm your friend," Lucretia says. "And being someone's friend means understanding them and staying around when they're struggling with something. I'm very happy that you can talk to me about things. I'm not going to judge you or think badly of you and I know that if you've decided that Zayn is the one for you, that you'd have tried to speak with Myrus first. I don't think that you deliberately wanted to hurt him, but now that it seems that its out in the open before you managed it, I know that you'll put it right." She leans in closer with that, giving her friend a gentle press to the arm with a hand pulled from her mug.

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