(1939-02-10) Weddings and Solitude
Details for Weddings and Solitude
Summary: Esther, her painting, and Myrus have another argument.
Date: 1939-02-10
Location: The Great Library, Hogwarts

The canvas still has a temporary frame - It's definitely enough to keep the girl within, within. It's one of the first things she painted this year, while Alphard and Esther were still at odds - While learning thie charm. Esther stands before it, her back arched. The smile she wears is one of pride. It's a beautiful creation. Well, beautiful, and terrible.

For those who have never seen Esther angry, this is about as close as they're like to get. Drawn on a 2' by 1' canvas, the girl is at one of the more thin points in her life, her skin not quite drawn but her fine bones easily visible. Her steel-grey eyes are narrowed, her bountiful dark hair pushed back out of her face, cascading down her shoulders. Shoulders squared, she stands with her feet shoulder width apart, arms outspread. She's in uniform, too - The Slytherin emblem, the green and silver tie. One hand grasps her wand, lightning dancing from it's tip, arcing to the ground beneath her, and off the edge of the painting. Her other holds a sword, inspired by one of the many that the armor around the castle clasp, flat towards the viewer. Fire wreathes the blade, tickling the loose sleeve of her robe but failing to burn it. Inscribed on the blade is her signature, '~EL.'

The picture moves. That's the stunning part. Right now though, it's stolen Esther's gaze, locking her in a staring contest. 'Revenge' is a bizarre look for her, but in the painting… She seems so comfortable.'

It was a wonderful evening last night. Though the evening ended with an abrupt turn for the crappy as Anthony had accused him of something that he'd been accused of before, but the other side of things.
This had given Myrus quite the epiphany. If he'll be accused of being guilty, he might as well get the chance to enjoy the deed.
This faded as he slept, woke up, went through his day and found himself eltering the Library.
He's immediately hit with the sight of Esther standing in front of her own little triumphant painting. Sword, flame, wand, lightning.
This was getting old. Fight with this person, fight with that person. Rus just shakes his head, and will ignore everyone. Muck on them all. He returns one book, and has to walk past Esther and her valiant painting to grab another. Now just where to find it. He doesn't even look at her when he passes her, or the painting. Just going about his business.

The painting takes it's cues from it's inspiration, who is standing right there for research. So when she spies Myrus, her eyes narrow, the sparks from the wand die away…. But the flaming sword remains an ever present 'threat'. Esther turns around, as well, and her voice is flat - Pre-empted though, by an equally lacklustre voice from her painting. "Myrus." - "Carrow." She greets him. A shame. They were so close. Now, she's wrapped her sorrow in anger - And he can't hurt her. So 'Revenge' was a fitting spell for the day.
"No new insults today? No fitting jibes about what a terrible person I am?" She asks, mock-curiousity in her tone. It's her turn to be a little unpleasant.

Anthony pads in, a little after Myrus, and he stops abruptly, as he spies the painting, considering it, and its model thoughtfully.

Lucretia walks into the library, a book tucked beneath one arm. The painting gets a quick look and she's about to say something when Myrus gets sportted. Whenever Myrus and esther are in the same room, its probably just best not to be caught in the crossfire, so she slides into a seat and places her book don in front of her. She's not ignoring anyone, just keeping her head low. for now.

He continues on. Myrus wasn't dealing with her today. Or even her painting. He refrains from glancing, as he could hear the difference in the painting's voice from her own.
Myrus walks on, looking at the wall of books in front of him that contain the one he's looking for. Why did the shelf he required be right next to where Esther was? He remains quiet though, not hearing or seeing Anthony orLucretia come in behind him.

It's unfair to bring backup that thinks… Well, just like you do. "You're ignoring me. Fine. I wasn't expecting much anyway. I'll just wait until the next time you're feeling insignificant and vindictive." Adding edge to her comments is the soft, sweet laugh of delight Esther has at watching herself. Well, artificial Esther's laugh. The girl turns the painting away from him, and takes a seat infront of it curiousity. Staring at herself again. It takes a few long seconds, before she admits. "This… This is strange." It's why it's not her first use of the charm. "Whyso?" Her cariacature asks quietly. Giving Lucretia a nod of greeting.

Anthony says, slowly, "Do you suppose," (The Walrus said)… or Tony in this instance, "…that your painting might perhaps be unhelpful in this circumstance, Lowe?"

Lucretia feels a little uncomfortable perhaps in the way that the caricature nods to her. "Hello Esther," she says quietly, addressing her friend rather than the painting. Opening her book, she takes out her notebook and places it to one side, attention flicking briefly to both Anthony and Myrus before she shifts herself into a more comfortable position on her chair. Its a little unnerving, a bit how one might feel in the calm before the storm.

Myrus finds his book, turning around to walk back past the painting now turned away from him. And he stands near Esther in her chair, looking at the painting. "WIll she scream if the painting burns? That's something I've always wondered. Will she scream when you burn her after she's no longer fun to look at, Esther? Just like you do with everything else in your life?" He was still looking at the painting. He was actually asking the painting now though, more than the real thing.

Esther turns to Anthony. There's a flash of hidden anger in her eyes - But it's FAR more obvious in her painting. Even the stance of Esther, overly thin as she was, an armed, is aggressive. The girl frowns. "I've given him space. I've given him quarter. And I've received nothing but offense. He gets nothing more from me except disdain." Lucretia's voice catches her attention, and finally gives her cause to smile. It's a genuine appreciation of young Black - A friendly face is always welcome.
Myrus finally bites. "Probably. She's not always so bright, though. Plays with fire. Sooner or later, she's going to get burned. And the silly thing that encouraged her to do it isn't going to be there to rescue her." A gentle tap of her portrait. "… S'why she's special. She's not… So attached, to the painting, as much to being. Someone'll offer to rescue her. And she'll leave this portrait a smoking ruin, and paint something new…"
"But… That's not what you want. You want her to stay. Burn. Scream, suffer." Situation successfully twisted. "Become something twisted, blackened, unsavable."

Anthony sighs. Yep. Too much to hope for that anyone would pay attention to him. Blessed are the Peacemakers, but only those which shoot six times without reloading. He heads quietly down a side aisle, towards the more obscure Ancient Runes texts. "Well, you can't say I didn't try."

Lucretia watches Anthony disappear from where she's not got her chin propped in the heel of one hand. Its disquieting really, how the animosity between Esther and Myrus can create a circle around themselves that nobody particularly wants to enter, and despite her housemate's smile her way, Lucretia doesn't engage in any conversation. Its a little like watching a play of tragedies unfold, its best to simply spectate and not participate.

It's an old song that Variel whistles as he steps into the library, unconsciously switching to a quiet hum, but it's pretty upbeat, lively. Given the volatility of the library's previous residents, he may not keep that pep, but it's yet to be seen. As is, he offers everyone who meets his eye a wave- neither the Snakes or Eagles here at odds with the redhead.

Myrus continues looking at the painting as real Esther answers. "Do you love him, Em? More than anything in the whole world?" Change of pace. Not that he was being vile today, or even underlying tones of undermining her being vile by being anything but. He just… wants to know.
"Because if you do," he turns to actually look at the real Esther now, "I hope you find happiness wherever you go."
He turns and starts toward the door, stopping for just a moment behind her, facing the front door and Variel, whom gets a wave, as well Lucretia who gets a nod now from the Lowe-Carrow.
"..I really mean that, Esther." He seems to be done playing games and being mad. A few reasons, but those might be learned someday later.
Myrus leans down, just outside of her halo of hair, peeking up at the picture as he does. "I'm sorry," he whispers. And after that he's quickly towards the front desk to stand in- line. Oh great. Four people in front of him to check out books.
There goes his quick exit strategy..

The beautiful irony is the flaming sword that Esther holds, within the painting - Although she's just looking somewhere between angry and smug. A gentle wave of the sword leaves flames flickering in it's wake. The girl frowns at Myrus, as he decides to play the 'real feelings card.' She lets his comments sit for several seconds. Then, one of the chairs is kicked out. A little aggressively, but still. "Sit." She manages to with-hold some of the venom from her comments.
"Really?!" Her painting asks, incredulous. The result is that Revenge is knocked over lightly, placed face-down on the table. So only one Esther stares at him, unreadable. Not speaking to Myrus further, while she waits for the seat to be taken.

Lucretia looks towards Esther. "Is everything alright?" she finally asks the older Slytherin. She's seen her friend in this mood before and concern creases her brow. A glance towards Myrus, a glance back to Esther, a closing of her book. "Isn't it best to just let it go? I don't think he wants to fight with you any more."

Myrus gets a nod when his wave is returned, though nobody else quite has the time to spare to notice his entrance. Not surprising, as things are obviously happening. The redhead slips into the stacks and starts hunting for a book.

It would be a few minutes before he returned, as she offered him the chair. He'd accept it. Just because he was being honest didn't mean it wouldn't hurt. Rus wondered if she was ready for this, or she was just looking for a reason to accept him back enough, then toss him out again. His guard was up still, but he makes his way over, setting his book right next to her painting on the table with a thud. He doesn't say anything, but just looks at her blankly.

"That's the first time you've said something that wasn't laced with /something/ else." Esther speaks, once he's sat. "The first time you've sounded even remotely like my cousin." It's not said cruelly… But it /is/ firm. She sighs. "I'm /not/ going to say that I Love him that much. I know I want to; but I'm aware of the harm that wanting things to be can cause. Right now, that's enough for us to grow on… But that's /ours/ to grow on."
Esther shakes her head. "You've been out to hurt me, since the moment I got scared. When I realised that I was able to be anything, or anyone.. And I chose to be something horrible. Do something unforgivable. My cousin is a cowardly piece of shit, Myrus… But with a clear head; no-one deserves what I had planned." There's a trace of sadness in her eyes. "…I ran. I ran because I knew what I'd do if I stayed. I ran because wanting to feel something had made me ok with changing the way I felt, to reflect what I wanted. I ran because I realised that I was too broken to stay. And I found someone who might… Just might be able to fix me."
"I'm sorry. But you've never even acknowledged that."

As expected, Esther doesn't really hear Lucretia, she's too focused upon Myrus right now. She lifts her hand towards Variel, just a fraction, and offers him a worried smile of welcome. There's an invitation in that smile for him to join her, perhaps once he's done with hunting down whatever book it is he's come to find.

Myrus listens. Her words weren't falling on deaf ears. But he would scrutinize. Myrus' voice is quiet, and eerily serene.
"I never wanted to change you, Esther. If someone changes, that's their choice. Fixing doesn't happen but from inside yourself." His father's greatest gift to Myrus, after severe disciplining once upon a time, were those words. So Myrus changed himself to meek and obedient at home years ago.
"So, I didn't have to acknowledge anything. I acknowledged you, all of you, just as you are. Or were. You turned your vileness you were capable of on me when I was only doing what you wanted me to do. You gave me your wand.. but when I didn't give you exactly what you wanted for once, I became the enemy." He gathers the book into his lap, at least preparing himself to leave. "So, maybe he didn't deserve it. Did I?"

Anemone slowly wonders in, carrying her charms book, and potion book frowning at the amount of work her professors gave her, her hair oddly colored, having streaks of pink in it now, Seems she was on the recving end of a bad coloring charm, mayhaps that is the mishap in the first year charms class everyone is muttering about. She finds an empty table and sets her books down and goes about to find another book that might help her with her homework.

"I gave you my wand because I wanted you to DO SOMETHING. SAY SOMETHING." Esther's voice lifts. "I didn't care if you struck me, or told me you hated me. I wanted to know that there was still a person inside of you. Instead of this… Carrow." The girl forces herself to take a deep breath. "I took advantage of our relationship to do some distasteful things. I own that. And then I ended it in an unpleasant way. I also own that. But until you started attacking me, I never wanted to hurt you."
Another deep breath. The word 'vile' isn't touched "I didn't leave to hurt you. I left to save myself. You wanted that painting, Myrus? The sad truth is that we're not the people in it. We just look like them. If you're not going to be my cousin, then fuck off gladly and stop speaking to me so I won't feel like I have to defend myself around you."

Variel does in fact, after a bit of wandering, return with a book to settle beside Lu. He throws a quizzical glance towards the Lowes united, then to Lu, seseemingly startled and avoiding speech as an interruptor.

Anemone finds a few books on potion brewing and brings them back to her table, smiling as she opens them up and pulls out a parchement, and a quill and ink, she hmms to herself and looks over the pages, stopping every now and then to scrible something down.

Lucretia shifts her chair closer to Variels and just leans a little into him, not too much, enough that her shoulder touches to his. "Hello," she says, her voice temperate and low, even as her eyes remain on the warring couple. Or not-couple really. Nobody in their right minds would refer to Esther and Myrus as a pair anymore and, to be fair, its hard to imagine right now that they ever were. "Do you think you might help me with my duelling technique later? I've entered the paladin's challenge and I've not properly duelled at all since Christmas." Anemone gets a glance shortly after, the dark-haired girl's nose wrinkling just a little at the odd shade of hair. "Would you like me to fix that for you? Or do you like it that way…"

Myrus doesn't nod along with what Esther says anymore. He just stares at her, keeping quiet and held back until she's done. When she finishes, Myrus stands. He's still holding the book to his torso, and he puts it under an arm. "Of course we aren't the people in that painting. But isn't it funny, you were turning into something terrible, and I was fine. Now you left, and I turned into something terrible, and you'll be fine. Have a nice life, Esther. Don't invite me to the weddings." Plural? WEddings? That word in and of itself was an insult.
But he's immediately standing and walking around Esther's chair, well within arms reach if she really wanted to try something. Also, he would be looking at Variel and Lucretia there, and now the newly added Anemone, firstie, to the table over there somewhere. He offers a smile and a wave. Oh he puts it on much better nowadays.

"I was going to say 'smart enough'." Esther answers simply. "But I'm just going to go with 'enough'. To try and save myself. Of course, I wouldn't like to rub it in. Despite the satisfaction there is in knowing I have water to bathe in, whilst someone dies of thirst." It's a lie. It's put on. But it's an effective way of getting her message across. Weddings? Fine. He can have loneliness.

When she says that as he's getting up, and he glances at the others, he turns his head and stops behind her chair for a moment. Just a second, his hand lifts to hold over her head for just a moment. Like he was going to place it on top of her head. Something he'd done a lot at least when they were kids. Or at least something /he/ remembered. His hand stops above her hair, he wrings the one hand by itself, and makes a face of indecision, then returns his hand to his side and continues to walk out of the library without a word to anyone else.

Esther's glance turns into a glare. Holding his hand there by sheer force of will. "… Don't. Touch. Me. You've lost that right."

Variel says, "Duelling? Sure, though there isnt too much to it. Presuming you can keep your spells up to par with theirs, it's a war of attrition. One moment of dropped guard cN be enough to eke out a win. So make sure yours isn't the first." Variel watches the two clash, grimacing. "… I hope I never mess up that badly. I never want her looking at me like that."

Anemone blinks as she looks up, and has rather wide eyes showing off the blue of them "you can fix it?" she smiles, "Ohh yes please, some stupid boy thought it would be funny to try and color my robes in charms class and instead messed up my hair." she frowns.

Esther waits until Myrus is gone, before she sighs. "Bloody idiot." She mutters, picking up her portrait again. Esther in the frame frowns at her counterpart. "What an ass." She states definitively to herself. "How're you feeling, Em'?" The real girl shoots that same glare at the painting. "… 'm gonna roll you up for the night." She states, taking the temporary wooden frame down… And rolling up her smirking portrait.

Lucretia looks over to Anemone and studies her hair carefully. "Actually, its rather spoiled. You probably want someone a little more experienced in transfiguration to sort it out for you." Poor Lucretia, it positively hurts her to have to admit to not being confident in dealing with something, perhaps she's learning. She does watch Myrus leave and her attention is quickly back on Esther. "Are you alright? Perhaps you two should just not talk any more, or does it help you to heal."

Esther shakes her head slowly. "… I don't know. I think I've tried often enough to settle things, to justify not caring anymore." The girl gently forces the painting into her bookbag, removing two chocolate frogs in it's wake. One of them is tossed over to Lucretia, the other opened, and pinned into the box with two fingers, until it's broken in two. A glance is given to the girl with the wild hair.

Lucretia catches the frog deftly and bites its head off. "Maybe its time to stop worrying what he thinks," she says quietly to Esther. "I don't think he cares how you feel, after all." Her book gets closed and she snaps a bit of the frog off, offering it over to Variel. "I know I've no real experience Esther, but is it so important to justify it any more? What's done is done and you have so much to look forward to now."

"We're done." Esther agrees, sighing. Snapping one half of the frog in two, and adding. "It's all over now. But it doesn't make it any easier to know that I've lost my best friend." The frogpiece is popped into her mouth, and chewed upon thoughtfully.

"People change," Lu says, speaking with a maturity beyond her years. Or perhaps she's just repeating something she's heard a thousand times. ""I expect that it will dull with time, but you and Myrus- I don't think that he'll ever forgive you for what has happened. And that's fine. That's now -his- burden to shoulder, not your's. You've explained your feelings to him and there's not much more that you can do than that."

"I can think of several spells that might have a place. But yet. It's unfortunate, but it's the way it's ended up." Esther closes here eyes for a moment, and decompressing. "This is frustrating. I might retire back to the common room."

Anthony says quietly, "It may seem like the end of the world… like torture… but it really isn't. You have to make a clean break, and move on. It'll be better for both of you."

"I'll see you there later, then," Lucretia says, worry just making itself evident in her voice. "I can bring you something back from dinner, if you like. That is, if you don't feel like going down for it tonight."

"That would be lovely."

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