| Details for The Amazing Power of Worrying |
| Summary: | Morgana isn't convinced that Lucian's premonition that she was in danger was merely his worried mind at work. |
| Date: | 20 September, 1939 |
| Location: | Morgana's Flat |
| Related: | I Don't Need a Healer! |
| Characters |
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By the time Lucian and Morgana return to her flat, Lucian's feet are dragging. The emotional wave he's been riding all night has finally crashed ashore, and left him drained. Still, he's happy to be in a comfortable space and no longer worrying. Still a gentleman, he pauses inside the door to take Morgana's cloak and hang it up. "Vodka," he grunts. "I think now I could use that drink."
Morgana is riding on a whole different emotional high. An Unspeakable came to see her, about something she doens't know anything about but they still came! Granted that has her brain going in thousands of different directions, and that curiosity is rolling off of her in waves. When he mentions the vodka, Morgana walks over to the side table it was left on, and flicks her wand toward the kitchen to summon up a few glasses. Pouring some for the both of them, she passes his over. "Did you want to take a bath? You're looking very worn down."
Lucian is quick to take his glass and down a first, burning gulp of vodka. He growls as it goes down, but it's a satisfied sound. "A bath sounds fantastic." He sets down the glass, and immediately starts unbuttoning his shirt, simply pulling it off over his head when he's got a few undone. "Going to join me? You've had a pretty rough day."
Morgana is already half way into the bathroom and getting the water going. There is a smell of lavendar that flows out into the main room as the water fills the tub. "Why don't you go ahead and enjoy it, there are a few things I want to look up first. Besides, I think your day was rougher than mine, worrying can be very tiring." She gives him a half smile as she directs him toward the warm and soothing bath.
Lucian casually drops his trousers, stepping out of them as he enters the bathroom. "Right. Worrying about Dark wizards is much heavier than nearly getting killed by them." He pauses to take her by the arm, pulling her near to press a gentle kiss to her lips. "I'm glad you're alright."
Morgana shrugs her shoulders, as if it meant nothing to her. "As I said, they didn't even notice I was there." Though there is something that she doesn't konw she's projecting. That breif pang of panic and fear, but it's quickly shoved away, as if being put into a box for later. She stands on her toes to return the kiss and smirks. "It takes more than that to get rid of me Lucian. No, go unwind and I"ll just be in the other room if you need me."
Lucian gives a worried frown, picking up on that flash of fear. He sighs, squeezing her hand and lifting it for a kiss. "I'm in here if you need me." It's frustrating how she hides her feelings, but he feels that he's getting a lot better at seeing through her masks. Maybe this whole experience has caused her to show a little more vulnerability in front of him. He climbs into the filling tub, groaning softly as the warm water rises around him.
Morgana lets him settle into the bath, letting him get fully into the water before she lightly rubs his shoulders. She'll make sure he is probably relaxed before she kisses his forehead. "I know you're here, but I'm fine Lucian, honestly." She gives him another weak smile before she slips out of the room. There are a few rustling sounds as if she's fetching some books off a shelf, but soon the room is filled with music as she turns on the wireless to help with the relaxation. It isn't until then when she figures he's good in settle that she lets herself process that fear, and that panic, letting it wash over herself.
There's really no way for Lucian to be sneaky about getting out of the bath. The sloshing water gives him away before he appears in the living room, wrapped in a bathrobe, wearing his worry all over his face again. He says nothing as he moves to Morgana's side and wraps his arms around her supportively.
Morgana was ready to just have a moment to herself, to let those feelings out so she can go about the day. So when Lucian is by her side in a bath robe she's a bit surprised and even steps away. "What are you doing out of the bath? I thought you were settled." Those feelings close up yet again, though she can't seem to push them all back down. She's shaking a little bit, but mostly confused as to why he left. "I'm fine, I promise I'm fine."
Lucian shakes his head. "No, you're not. I know you better than that, Anya, and I don't like being lied to." There is mild irritation in his voice, but it is muffled under the overwhelming sense of concern for her.
Morgana hangs her head a bit and sighs. "This is how I do things, okay? I just… I wait until I am alone and I just let it out. You're worried enough about me, you don't need to see me like this, okay? I'm trying to… I don't know, it's just how I do this." She does at least let herself be hugged this time. "I was scared, but I used that fear to do something about it. I could have hidden under a table but I didn't. I.. I don't know what else to say."
"Say that. Say anything." Lucian holds her gently, rubbing her back. "I can tell when you're upset," at last, and better than ever before. "I can't just pretend I don't notice. This is my job, okay? I'm here to take care of you, just like you take care of me."
"That's not how I do things Lucian." Morgana says, shaking her head. "I don't share what I feel, it's not how it's done, it's not how I was raised. It lets me focus. I know it isn't healthy, but it's what I know and those habits die hard. I felt how worried you were, all that fear you had when I came home. I knew I had to focus on you, so I just ignored everything else." Though there is another wave of confusion that washes over her. "How did you know I was upset? You were in the other room."
"It wasn't hard to put together," Lucian says with a frustrated sigh. "You might think you've covered it all up. But it still shows. At least to me. So it just seemed obvious why you wanted to get away from me, so you could let yourself feel something. That hurts, Anya. You're supposed to feel things with me. It's like you don't trust me with your heart. You know, a lot of that anguish I was going through could have been managed a lot more easily if you'd just been honest with me. I don't need to be babied when I'm worried about you. I need to know what's going on with you."
"It's not… No I don't want you to think that. I do trust you Lucian I'm just.." There is a fear that washes over her, something besides the events of the day, and it's a fear that is hard for her to swollow and pull away from. Shaking her head she sighs. "I didn't know what to do when I walked in. I was ready to tell you everything, you were just so upset. I wasn't trying to baby you, but if we were both a wreck, than nothing would have gotten accomplished. I had to keep my cool, I felt bad for putting you through that and I wanted to make sure you were okay. I've never seen you that upset." Well she has, but that was for different resons.
"I get it. You were trying to take care of me." Lucian does his best to be understanding, but many months of frustration are starting well up. "But this is what I do. I look after the people I love. It's all I know how to do. I'm sorry that I get emotional about it, but that's because I love you. I know you're not all that comfortable sharing your feelings, but that's part of what being a couple is. I'm sorry I was so worked up today. I don't know what got me so panicked." It's hardly the first time she's worked late, though finding the shop empty did amplify his worry. "I just had a terrible sense that something was wrong…and let's face it, I was right."
"I know Lucian." Morgana says wtih a bit of dejection in her voice. "Maybe I'm not cut out for this, for trying to be with another person, and sharing everything. It's not my natural reaction to things." However at the end of his comments she shakes her head. "Be that as it may, you were really worked up, you were shaking. When did you get that feeling? Do you remember the time?" There's that Ravenclaw poking out again, trying to piece apart the situation. "Because it was more than an empty store, and you knew I had an errand to run."
"An errand usually means an extra hour at the most. You were gone for hours. Is it really so odd that I was afraid something awful had happened to you?" Lucian pushes a few wet strands of hair from his forehead. "I really don't know when I got the feeling. I was worried all night. It built up a bit over time. Then…wham. It just hit me suddenly that you were in danger. I whatchallit…an epiphany."
"Honestly most of that was the guy not giving me the product." Morgana says with a shake of her head. However she thinks it over, seeing that he was worried for hours and then just wham getting hit with danger. "I wonder." She says, tapping her lips like she does when she's thinking. "Could that have happened at the same time the artifact went off?"
Lucian gives Morgana a skeptical frown. "Not that again," he grumbles, recalling Healer Rowle trying to turn him into a patient. "I don't see how it could affect me. Unless…maybe it did something to you, and you sort of…projected yourself to me. Like a distress call."
"Like I said, I got hit and I thought of you. Being suck there most of the day was annoying and I really just wanted to get back here. I left as soon as I could. I don't know a thing about this artifict and I doubt they'll let me look at it. It's probably already in the Department of Mysteries." Morgana frowns and shakes her head. "If me being there has effected you in some way…"
Lucian puts a hand tenderly to her cheek. "It hasn't. You're making something out of nothing. I was just scared for you. It doesn't take a mysterious artefact to explain why I'd think you were in trouble. That kind of thing happens all the time." Lucian would make a terrible Unspeakable. The obvious answer is what works best for him.
"I'm not satisfied with that answer Lucian." Morgana says with a shake of her head, reaching up to remove his hand from her cheek. "If the answer were that simple, an Unspeakable would not have been in my exam room. Something isn't right, I can feel it." She does at least hold his hand, gently squeezing it while things mull over in her mind. "Is that all that you've felt since I've gotten back, just that pang of worry over me being in danger."
Lucian gives her hand a tug, trying to guide her to the couch to relax. "No, of course not. I've been worried ever since. The hospital made me feel a little better, about you anyhow. But I still worry. Then just now, knowing you were in distress out here. It's not magic, Anya. It's love."
Morgana shakes her head and frowns. "Love doesn't tell you I'm in distress Lucian. It doesn't work that way, you don't just know when I am in distress, not with out seeing." She does at least sit down and she finally reaches for that vodka she poured herself a bit ago, but only sips it. "I felt your panic, not just because I saw how you were shaking, I felt that Lucian. You worry at the hosptial, howe much you hated that place. You've been projecting your feelings a lot today."
"That's not exactly new for me. I've never been good at hiding my feelings." Lucian joins in the vodka consumption. This conversation is getting too deep to have without alcohol. "And love does work that way. Mothers sense when their children are in danger all the time."
"That's different. They have a vicseral connection, one was created from the other. That's not the case with use, we have no physical connection like that. Why are you so eager to dismiss this could be something more than it is?" Again, she has some more vodka, mostly because this is getting a bit intense."
"Why are you so eager to make it more than it is? Why is it so hard to believe that you and I have that kind of powerful connection? Isn't that what drew us together in the first place? From the very first time we started hanging about together, we felt a bond. Why can't this be just a strengthening of that?"
"Because it doesn't work that way Lucian. We had a lot in common, we were both hearing and yes, we may have found a kindered spirit, but you sensing me in danger is not something that happens normally. Not with out some level of seer abilities." Morgana turns to him and touches his forehead and frowns a bit. "You didn't randomly become a seer did you?"
Lucian sighs and droops his head. "Maybe I did. No, of course I didn't. It was just a hunch. A powerful hunch, based on your absence and my worry, that happened to be right. Or maybe it really is this bond we have. You can't say for sure it doesn't work that way. Come on, you want to be in the Department of Mysteries. What's more mysterious than love?"
Morgana leans forward and rests her elbows on her shoulders. A very unlady like gesture, but she's hitting her point of emotional turmoil for one day. "Perhaps. Still I think this is a bit extreme, I guess I should just… accept it." Reaching forward she pours them both a bit more vodka and sighs. "Your bath is probably cold by now."
Lucian rests a hand on Morgana's arm. "How about this. We stop talking about this. We sleep on it and clear our heads. Maybe it will make more sense in the morning." He lifts his glass to her, offering a toast to seal the agreement.
Morgana looks over to her desk where there are always a few books laid out, ready to be researched on what is going on. However she sighs and clinks her glass to his. "Very well, I'll forget about it for now. Maybe sleeping on it will be better." She sips from her glass and gives him a weak smile.
Lucian sips his own to complete the toast. "Sleeping sounds fantastic, actually." He glances toward the bedroom. "You know I'm staying here tonight." He's leaving no room for argument. He rises to take the vodka bottle back to the kitchen, and when he returns, he offers his hand to help her to her feet.
Morgana watches him take the vodka away, and can't help but look at Lucian, just how that bathrobe sits on him. She'll quickly advert her eyes though as he offers her his hand and she stands. "I thought that was the plan all along. Besides I know there isn't a way I could convince you to go home even if I wanted to." Slowly she walks toward the bedroom, idly removing the buttons on her blouse as she does.
Lucian chuckles, shaking his head. "No, there certainly isn't." He peels out of the robe, pausing at the bathroom to hang it up and drain the tub. But he is soon coming into the bedroom and sliding into bed, offering a welcoming arm for her to snuggle into.
By the time he is back in the bedroom, Morgana has a nightgown on and is turning down the sheets. Once he is in bed, she'll slide in next to him, finding that spot where she normally rests her head on his shoulders, and draping one of her legs over his. For a moment he can feel all of those feelings he's been holding back for the day, but they slowly drip away as this sense of calm and comfort washes over her. "How early do you need to be up?"
Lucian curls his arm to cradle her back. "We'll sleep in. I want to say with you tomorrow. Cami will understand." Feeling her leg over his brings certain ideas to his mind. But as pleasant as the notion seems, he is utterly exhausted, and being in the comfort of the bed is bringing sleep faster than he can hold it off.
Morgana nods her head. "I'll have to swing by the store and let Madam Black know what happened but.. that can wait." She too is feeling that tug of sleep, even if part of her is fighting it. Part of her wants to get out of bed and pile into those books, but finally her body gives in, and she starts to drift off.