(1940-05-01) Letters - May
Details for Letters - May
Summary: Katie and Gavin's letters through May.
Date: May 1940
Location: Wherever they're each writing from.

1 May 1940

Dearest Gavin,

We only just parted hours ago, and I already miss you thoroughly. It was such a lovely surprise to see you, and the time we spent… I don't know when I've ever had such a wonderful time with anyone. The whole evening was so special to me. You must truly be the best boyfriend in all the world, how kind you are and patient. And… things.

It seems our Jack was eavesdropping on you and Da, and he's being a right prat about it now. Keeps giving me looks like he knows something. Does he know something? I think he's just doing to get on my nerves, have me thinking that he's got secrets. I can't help but wonder if part of it is that he knows I've got secrets from him now, and it doesn't set right. We've always been close, never kept things from each other, but there are obviously things that I can't talk about with my little brother now. I believe the only reason it's not wearing on us worse is because he looks up to you so that he can't possibly fully resent anything between us. I think I'll treat him to something this week, one evening after work but before blackout. It'll make us both feel better, being without you.

As for your mum, you know best and I'll never question that. I think the summer would be a fine time to do something together. Maybe a picnic? Something informal, without expectations or pressure. Or do you think that there's no such thing as far as your mum and us?

I want you to know, Gavs, that no matter what, I don't have expectations. Maybe hope and a dream or two, but I'll never be one to try and hold you if you ever wanted to go. I've seen that happen with my friend Stacia, and it was a right mess. She tried to make the bloke stay when he'd wanted to move on, she told some wicked lies and while I'll never tell her, I think it was best that it didn't work out. Tricks and lies don't make for a good foundation for something that'll last. Mum and Da are the best example of that I could ever hope to have.

I love you. There's so much more I want to say, but I know there are eyes everywhere, none the least of which belong to Hutch. I'd be gutted if he mocked it. No… I'd gut him. It's not only Lilli Palmer that needs to mind herself where you're concerned. (She was brilliant in the film. The parts I remember.)

I'm already counting the days until I get to see you again, to wrap my arms around you and hold on as long as I can. You're in my dreams every night, but I won't be truly happy until you hold me again.

With all my love,
Your Duckie

May 4th, 1940


What a sly devil, the cheeky little man! Eavesdropping on a mans discussion. I will have to include a reprimand in my coming letter to him. I think that would be very nice of you two to spend some time together. There is a touch of jealous I must admit t your relationship. Being the only child is something I partially blame the mistakes of my youth on. Jack is a fine young man, I credit his parents and having an amazing big sister for this. Don't you worry any about what is discussed between old soldiers over a smoke. It was nothing to worry about, just talk.

As far as expectations, I'm not worried. I have had plenty of bad experiences myself. But with you, you're so different from all the girls I've dated in the past. I don't know if it's as clear for you as it is for me. But right now, all I can see getting between this wonderful thing we've got going is the Nazi's and even then it's going to take a really big bomb to keep me from coming back for more with you.

Hutch I will have you know is behaving himself in regards to us now. I think much like Jack, jealousy is at fault for them acting out. Hutch is after all mentally and emotionally younger than Jack. Your letters are safe.

On the topic of my mother. After our last encounter, I am not so opposed to the idea. It's not like they haven't met anyways. I promised Jack a big family meal, won't want my Mother to feel left out of something like that. This is all only if you think you can handle the sort of pressure she might serve as her own main course. She does have her expectations and I don't ever want you to feel pressured by them.

I love you too. I'll have you know, those words have only appeared on letters for my Mother until now. You're in my dreams too. I want to be in your arms. Those hands, och, those hands! You are magical and make me feel like a million sterling. Do me a favor, wear your favorite shade and leave a kiss on my next letter, don't forget to cover it right after with a piece of parchment or wax paper.

On the 13th, leave your window unlocked, or open since the weather has been so nice. Maybe also see if Mary and Daniel would fancy a little evening together, out of the shop. You've cast a spell on me Duckie.

Then after, how about Sunday Dinner on the 17th?

Again, I love you,

7 May 1940

My Monkey,

Jack and I had a lovely afternoon out yesterday. Da gave us permission to take the time off, since Jen is working out so famously (although she does still have a little trouble with mathematics sometimes). Both of us sporting our pins was certainly a sight, gaining us lots of smiles and kind words. I think all of London practically told me to pass good wishes and prayers on to you. We went to the zoo, which is a little spare right now with some of the animals having been shipped off to safer places just in case. I do miss the elephants. They're having a programme, because of the shortages and how expensive things are becoming, where one can adopt an animal. Jack and I decided to each adopt a dormouse, so for a shilling a week each we can help keep the animals fed. And it gives us a good excuse for a weekly jaunt out to visit our charges and pay their way. I feel like a shilling is so little, but it's what our Jack could part with and I didn't want to make him feel lesser by taking on a bigger burden than he is able. So, at least we are doing our part.

We talked a lot about you and the lads while we were out. I do believe he's more jealous of the time I get to spend with you than with the fact that you've stolen his sister's heart. I was honest with him when he asked if that's what it's come to, love. He did seem fair chuffed to think that this is more than a passing fancy. Perhaps part of his jealousy was worry that we split and he'd lose you all. I've assured him that no matter what ever happens, it will never have impact on his friendships with you and the lads. You are all so valuable to him, even a broken heart couldn't make me want to see that stop. But, just in case, never break my heart, love.

All in all, I think the outing was a success for us. Questions answered, animals adopted, and we even stopped for an ice lolly on the way home.

Tell Hutch that I'm looking forward to seeing him stop round the shop next time he has leave. I don't want him jealous that I take all your time as well. All is forgiven as long as he minds his manners.

I think it would be delightful to have your mother join the family for dinner. I know that Mum has exchanged a note or two with her, and I've written to tell her what a lovely time we had on your last leave. Certain parts excepted, of course! But I thought she would find it a comfort to know that some of your time is spent with a lass who longs to make you happy and see you smile. Isn't that what mums want for their sons? I'm looking forward to having us all together, there will be laughs and happiness and no thought of war allowed to dampen our spirits. I won't feel pressured by anything she says, as I know that she just wants to see you happy as well, and if she finds me suitable enough to think I could manage that then I'm a lucky one indeed.

I've checked with Mum and Sunday dinner on the 17th would be wonderful. She's offered to make a nice roast here at home, save some expense and have a cozy family time. Two more will fit at the table with ease. Then perhaps the four of them could play charades (although Jack is a ringer so he should be on your mum's team) while we have a nice after-supper walk.

My window will be unlocked. I'll see what I can manage to shift Mum and Da out, but that might be the most difficult part.

I love you. I'll never tire of writing it, saying it, or hearing it from your lips (or penned from your hand). I love you, Gavin Ferguson.


Always yours,

May 11th, 1940


Pardon the penmenship. Earnest fancies himself a tattoo artist and we all had quite the weekend of getting some 'ink' done. Mine is on the right inner arm so it's still on the tender side. But it's worth it to look down and see 'you' with me. It's not all done yet. I want a little something more.

There's been some news, I can't go into great detail. But things might be on the shift. It's hard to look around me now and wonder who is going to be here when all is said and done. They are my brother's all. Even numpties like Hutch. It's a small but important shift for some. I'm not sure where I will fit in with all of this. Having you now, it makes things rather nerve racking. I could have cared less before you if I got shipped off. But that's different now. Everything before you made me a better man, but you, you make me want to be a better man.

I have to go now if I'm going to get this letter in. I will see you in a couple of days. I have something important to tell you, which is why I'll be coming. It's all cleared really. I gave Lefty's son a recommendation to a Dean at Cambridge and he's in come fall, so Lefty is quite in a forgiving mood and is even going to substitute the watch himself. It's not like the Nazi's are going to drop the bombs for the first time within the hour I sneak away. What are the odds on that.

See you soon,

14 May 1940


The post only just brought your letter today, else I'm sure there would have been much more that I'd have asked you. Like about your tattoo and how it is that you have me with you. Did it hurt very much? Is Earnest as good as he fancies himself? What is it and what do you still want to add?

I would also have had a million questions about how things are shifting and if you knew anything more. I'm quite worried for you all now, but especially for you. I hope they don't send you away from me. It's selfish, I know, but I can't help but feel that. Please tell me what you can, as soon as you can.

Will we still have Sunday dinner on the 17th? If those plans have to change we will all understand, but be dreadfully disappointed. I think we should still have your mum over. As anxious as I am, she must be so much more so. It wouldn't do for her to have the plans cancelled and be left on her own for the day. We must all stand together, and hold each other up.

I wish we'd have had more time yesterday. But, if I'd known I might never have let you go. I suppose it's all for the best that the post is slow at times.

Gavin, may I still tell you that I love you in letters? Or would you rather just hear it from me as well? I miss you terribly.

Your Katie

May 16th, 1940

A telegram arrives instead of a letter.

Dinner still on . Answers on walk . Yes . You can .


18 May 1940

Dear Monkey,

It was so wonderful to see you and your mum yesterday. I can't believe how quickly the time went, it seemed you'd just gotten here and you both had to leave again. Did she enjoy the drive? I'm sure you must have been on your best behavior. She's really so sweet, and I don't mind at all the thinly veiled hints she drops. It's sweet that she loves you so and wants you to be happy with someone.

I'd forgotten entirely to tell you that I was out a couple nights before you were over. I was out for a hen night with Prudence, Millie and Amy and I told them about that posh club you'd taken me to at your birthday. They wanted to see it, so we made it last stop for a quick look around and a drink. Graham was there, he sends regards. There were a lot of oddly dressed people there, I think there must have been some private fancy dress party going round. Anyroad, Millie and Amy went off to use the ladies, so Pru and I went to the bar. That's where we saw Graham, and that woman who came in to the chippy was there and came over to say hello with the club's owner. He's dead charming (but he's not my Monkey) and sings very well. It was only a minute later when Millie was back, pulling us away. Seemed that Amy had 'fallen in love' in the five minutes they were away. That girl, I don't know what we'll do with her. She's definitely not allowed to have more than two drinks in the course of a night any more. But, the real point of the matter is how it made me think of you and smile. That was such a lovely night, my first kiss and your birthday and dancing. It's a memory I'll always treasure. When will you take me dancing again, Mr. Astaire?

There's not much to tell aside from that, as we've just had time yesterday. But I will tell you that I love you, and am already counting to your next month's leave. Every time you look at your smashing tattoo, consider it a kiss that I owe you. Keep tabs, and I'll pay you every single one, with interest.

I love you.

Your Duckie

May 21st, 1940


You are going to have your lips drop right off if you keep to that promise. Do long stares count for 100 looks? Or half looks when I'm looking at you in the watch and it's in my vision but I'm not actually looking at it? No matter, despite those technicalities, I'm afraid that you just might die of weariness for all the kissing that you will owe me. It would be a pleasant offing. But I would very much like you alive for your birthday. Special things planned! Speaking of birthdays, when is Jacks? The boys would like to make arrangements that he can get taken out by them and treated to a grand coming of age celebration. With all the usual things included, plus a bit more. But that's man's stuff.

The dinner was simply marvelous. Mary sure can put on a dinner party, she has grand help so I'm not surprised. Don't remind me of my mother's behavior though. Near on thirty and she still treats me like I'm only 3. I was dreading a spit polish from her all night long. She adores you and your family and went on at quite the length about it after we had gone. For the first time she's brought up the fact that she'll have to retire at some point and when she does she will need a daughter-in-law to take care of her. I swear she is as subtle as a porcupine.

Earnest keeps asking me which one of your friends was the brunette with the blue and white polka-dots. He's a bit like Amy in that way. He spotted her that day in the park and when he found out that you were in that group of girls, he's been pestering me ever since really. I don't even know your friends enough to tell them apart. Is Amy the blonde one, the one that had the bad habit of bad blokes? I should really start a note book, maybe you could take a picture with all of them and label the front with the who's who and I'll work on the notes on the flip side. It makes me happy to hear that you had a fun hens night. I don't like to think that you just are always at work, or at home. My Ducky needs to be the light of the town! You be careful around those Italians though! Untrustworthy lot.

Your Monkey,

25 May 1940

My Gavin,

I'll take my chances on losing my lips, it would be worth it to lose them if my last kiss was from you. Only fitting, since my first was as well.

Plans for my birthday? I suppose you aren't going to tell me what they are, you are so very cruel in that way. It's exciting, though, I'll finally be full on Twenty years old. No more teen anything. Jack's birthday is in September, on the 7th. Tell the boys not to get too excited though, love, he'll only be going onto 15 years with this one. He might say differently, he always is, but no 'coming of age' for our Jack until next year. The lads are so thoughtful, and I know Jack would be over the moon if they still took him out, even if the 'man's stuff' has to wait a year.

Your mother just loves you, Gavs, that's all. It's lovely to see, and how good a son you are to her, not fussing as she's doing it. I don't have to be her daughter-in-law to still want to help when she decides to retire from her service, and after years of doing for others she certainly deserves to have done for her for a change. Whenever she needs, I will take care of her until her son can do, don't you worry about that.

For the questions of my mates, Prudence is the blonde that is seeing a bloke that's been shipped over to do the fighting. She worries about him so, I always feel a little bit guilty when I talk of you and she knows that you're still here in town. She's got such a good heart, though, that I'm sure she would never think to begrudge me that. Amy might be the one Earnest asks about, she's got rather dark hair and bright blue eyes. Yes, she's the one with the bad habit of bad blokes. It would be wonderful if she and Earnest hit it off, she could use a stable, nice one like him. If not the one with the darkest hair, then maybe he means Millie, her hair is more brown. Of course, he could mean someone else entirely, there are others I see on and off, but those are my closest chums. If you find out which one, I'm sure I could arrange for them to properly meet and see if they hit it off. And then there's always our Jen, who I'm sure he's already met.

Tomorrow afternoon Jack and I will be taking another outing to the zoo to see 'our' animals. I'm very much looking forward to it, and I've saved by a bit again for an ice lolly on the way home. It's such a little treat, but he enjoys it so.

I noticed that you didn't answer the question of when you'll take me dancing again. Is that the birthday treat you have planned? If not, I don't mind, since I get to be in your arms whether there's music playing or not. That's what matters most to me. We could go to King's Cross and just watch trains all day, as long as we're watching them together I'll be happy.

I love you, my Monkey, and think of you with every beat of my heart. You and the lads are always in my prayers.

Always yours,

May 29th, 1940


I will try to get in through Dump's skull that just because he had 'relations' at the age of 14 doesn't mean every lad needs to. Just for you. I agree with you, this war is taking enough childhoods away. We shouldn't be a force to do that ourselves. But of course we will still take him out.

As for your birthday, you will just have to wait and see! I might not be writing as often, or at least I'll probably be working on one letter for a few days before sending it off. I've taken up some off Duty Chores for some of the officers for a bit more money. Some talk about promotion for all my hard work. I know it's probably just something they are saying to make me feel better about doing all the work for pittance. If they are serious, I don't even know if I would accept. It's a level of responsibility I'm just not sure I want. But it would mean a pay raise. What do you think darling? Would you be ashamed of me if I passed it up? I dare not mention it to mother, and I beg that you keep it a secret. It would be so very embarrassing and make me look the fool if they are just saying it without meaning it. We will see I suppose.

Earnest is now pining for the girl he has dubbed, "Millamy." Until we are more certain which of the two is his dream girl. I must say that it's rather nice having someone else as moony for a girl as I am. Because I am rather hopelessly moony for a girl. She's pretty much perfection, so how could I not be? Such a lucky man am I that I was her real first kiss and if things work out as hoped, who knows, I might be the only man to know her kisses. What a wonderful world that will be!

I hope your trip to the Zoo was nice. Which one of the animals did you two adopt again? Wasn't one an Elephant? You should name him Hutchiphant.

As for your line of probing, I shall not break! It is TOP SECRET classified information.

I miss your face,


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