Alcoholic Author
Portrayed by Milana Vayntrub
Name: Jeanette Ophelia Yates
Aliases: Zenia; Jeanie
Birthday: December 21st, 1905
Position: Author
Lineage: Muggle-born
Hufflepuff Alumnus
'I keep a shotgun because even if I'll never master "Protego", I can go "Alakablam" pretty well.'


She smells of spirits, usually, and that sets much of the rest of her impression: wasted talent. Mild brown tresses go down just past her chin on a rounded square face, and constantly have the look of someone who started with a well-kept professional hairstyle and then spent the last day or two forgetting to comb it. Dark eyes — often, but not always, slightly bloodshot — peer out at the world from behind large, thick-rimmed and thick-lensed glasses which magnify their size, making it impossible for her to hide even the smallest roll of her eyes or upward pleading glance for a heavenly intercession or at least a meteor that might end her misery.

The short woman wears a dark beige set of ill-fitting robes that make it very difficult to actually tell what kind of shape she has underneath; someone with enough time and insufficient shame could work out that she's been generously curved, but she seems to despise looking at herself.


Jeanette Ophelia Yates was born on December 21, 1905 to a perfectly ordinary Muggle couple, Adam Nicholas Yates and Barbara Odette Yates (née Smith). Adam was a tailor, and Barbara was a housewife, and they had four normal children and went to church every week. There were a few odd events here and there — mysterious chills — but nothing that really grabbed the attention of a busy family.

The illusion was interrupted on Jeanie's 11th birthday, when they got a visit from the Muggle Liaison Officer who told them that Jeanie possessed latent magic — magic she could be taught to harness. Horrified at the idea of their daughter being a witch, they disowned Jeanie on the spot. Five memory charms later, they took it much more smoothly to learn that Jeanie had won a spot in a coveted private school, but the memory of their first reaction was burned into the child.

At Hogwarts, Jeanie was a completely unremarkable Hufflepuff student; she put in serious effort to compensate for exceptionally weak magic and got decent grades, but her only strong performances were in history-heavy subjects, which she absorbed like a sieve; she was fascinated with stories, which were the only escape she had from an awfully boring life.

Jeanie left after obtaining her OWLs and took a job as a Central Department librarian for the Ministry of Magic. But she always dreamed of more; when she was 30, she wrote a self-insert pulp story titled 'Juno Invictus', and sent it into a short story competition for the Daily Prophet. She submitted the tale under the psuedonym 'Zenia', fearing ridicule. After it proved the most popular tale by far, she was approached by the Prophet to write more stories as serials for them; with dreams of fame ahead, she quit her job and accepted immediately.

Reality has been far more tame. While she makes good money, 'Zenia' is far more popular than 'Jeanie Yates' is, and her reputation writing pulp has typecast her as an author. She lives alone in Hogsmeade now; while she introduces herself as Zenia on occasion, most assume the acrid drunkard woman brooding in the bar couldn't possibly be the author of that exciting story.

RP Hooks

  • Hogsmeade Heckler: If you're anywhere near a pub in Hogsmeade and standing out in the crowd somehow, she'll probably give you grief over it.
  • Bookworm: She can regularly be found in libraries and bookstores too, in her more sober moments.


  • Deadpan Snarker: Humor is the only tool Zenia has to handle really any situation, from her insecurity to her fears of letting other people close to her.
  • Highly Insecure: What's there really to be positive about in a life that's never worked out for her?
  • My Only Friend: Beer: Beer will never abandon her, especially with generous use of refilling charms.
  • Psuedonymous Author: She's started using the name Zenia in real life, but no one believes she's that Zenia.
  • Wealth: Comfortable: Writing 5-knut stories pays fairly well, at least.


Logs featuring Zenia Logs that refer to Zenia



Idol: Half-Blood. Gilbert Sullivan has all the class, influence, and sophistication that Zenia wishes she could have; she has consequently sent over 50 unsolicited manuscripts of her more serious work to Gilbert, hoping for a big break that lets her move out of the shadow of her narrowly-focused writing career so far. It hasn't gone well.


Artifact Expert: Pure-Blood. They went to school around the same time, not that they ever really interacted, being introverted bookworms of entirely different feathers. However, she spends a lot of time at the Wizarding Museum to gain ideas and information for her next story, and Michais knows her as a quiet, pleasant, respectful visitor who loves a good discussion of history and smells pleasantly of Irish Coffee.


Coffee Shop Owner: Half-Blood. Generally, Zenia sticks to Hogsmeade where she can be a drunk layabout and no one cares. When she's at London, she has to be nominally in control of her faculties, so she usually gets her fill of Irish Coffee at the Sip and Sonder. Zoe knows her as a quiet, brooding customer who just sits in her corner all day.


Augustina Phoenicia Zenia
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